Guy #1: Yeah… she's bipolar.
Guy #2: Really? I thought she was straight.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Kat
Archive for the ‘Soho’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners? Kinky!
300-pound girl on phone: Girl, you showed your whole booty crack? I know, he's into that kinky downtown shit.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: bastardo
Loud upstate girl: I think…doin' any kinda research inta furries? You're in trouble.
–Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Hoochie: I mean, you gonna handcuff me, then handcuff me. But, you know, when I gotta go do my shit, I gotta go.
–1st St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: stephie
Curly-haired girl on cell: I've totally got a cold too! But I've also got bondage tape. And a cell phone activated vibrator.
–Ouidad salon
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Suit to another, while having lunch on bench: You put duct tape on her mouth and you do it from behind.
–Central Park
Guy at table: You know, she's a quality girl, even when I was in handcuffs, I could tell that she was a quality girl.
–Carnegie Deli
Overheard by: Spazz
Hence Shonen Knife’s Tomato Head
Black chick: Hey, come here, look. Did you know that Asians can’t drink? Look at her face. It’s all red.
–Diesel, West Broadway
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let Down Your Wednesday One-Liners
Girl to friend: I can't believe you broke a nail on your own ass hair!
–Church & Chambers
Three-year-old boy to another: I like you but I don't like your baby because your baby grabbed my hair.
–Central Park, Great Lawn
Girl: Oh, I'm so glad this is all working out. (gets up and sees her reflection) Fuck! Why didn't you tell me my hair looked like a dead beaver?
–Prince St Cafe
Overheard by: It DID
Black woman to infant held by her mother: Where did you get all of that hair? I want some of that hair. (pats her head) This ain't my hair, I could really use yours.
–Harlem Polling Station
Overheard by: Joe
Girl yelling into cell: He's not even hairy!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Well then why do they call him that?
Chick: I thought we were made for each other, but he's too bearded.
–113th St
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
“Don't Hate Me Because I'm Wednesday One-Liner”
Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…
–Wendy's, Union Square
Overheard by: Hungry Bystander
Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.
–American Eagle, SoHo
Overheard by: Holly
Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn't. You don't need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.
–Downtown 4 Train
50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.
–Boat Basin Cafe
Overheard by: Megan W.
Guy on iPhone: You think because you're pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you're wrong! You can get away with that shit because you're rich!
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Wednesday One-Liners Remember elimiDATE Fondly
Man on cell: Yeah man, she is so not anyone that I would be willing to invest years in… I mean I don't want to have to spend my time actually working on it. I figured, hell, I kind of want to wake up next to someone a couple of days a week, so I might as well hang on through the summer. No, she has no idea…
–Columbus & 62nd St
Grad student: They have this symbiotic relationship in which he does all the eating and she does all the drinking.
–Columbia University
Woman to herself: God, I asked you for a good man; not a fucking joke!
–Spring & Hudson
Overheard by: Oscar Gamble
Firefighter to others: It's not that I have anything against commitment; I just like diversity.
–125th St Fairway
Overheard by: Just Shoppint
Man in shorts to another: I wouldn't date a girl with double vision, period.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Dr No-Eyes
Businesswoman to hobo: If you get back in the dating scene, I'll kill you.
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: Homeless guy must be hung
When You Realize Your Pain Is Self-Inflicted
Teen girl: Something must have gone wrong during her wax.
Teen boy: What was it?
Teen girl: I don’t know. She was, like, crying. And she hasn’t gotten another wax. I just don’t get it.
Teen boy: Sucks for her.
Teen girl: Seriously.
–Broadway & Prince
Overheard by: still speechless
Wednesday One-Litters
Little girl to mother: I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore, when I grow up I wanna be a cat!
–Chelsea
Woman to friend: I mean, he's just so anti-social! He has like 19 cats!
–Lafayette & Prince
Girl to friend: My cat is a flaming homosexual.
–34th & 5th
Girl: And so she says, "let's follow the cat!" So we do, and the cat leads us to a pile of heroin!
–Cafeteria, Barnard College
Frases De Miercoles
Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Jobee
Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!
–Mercer & Broome
Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.
–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen
Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.
–105 St & Lexington
Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…
–CVS
Overheard by: Karen
It Seems Like They’re Both the Husband
Rollerblading chick #1: Jim was like totally cock-blocking me the other night.
Rollerblading chick #2: Well he is your husband.
–Watts Street & West Side Highway