Thugette: … And that was the last time I ever messed around with dehydration, yo.
Preggers thugette: Fo’ real.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: wait.. what?
Archive for the ‘Staten Island Ferry’ Category
Wednesday One-liners are Out in the Streets
Hobo: Shit, I’m jus’ tryin’ ta get me some pussy and a beef sandwich.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jason K
Old bag lady: I’m looking for some change, some food, or a sexual partner.
–Lafayette & Great Jones
Hobo: I have something to say! I fucked your daughter! And she liked it! And she was tight!
–W. 4th & University
Overheard by: Snezhana Valdman
Hobo: Too many Police investigations stopping you from reaching your destination? I may be homeless, but I got a brain. It may not be a big brain, but it’s usingable!
–Staten Island ferry
Overheard by: Joel Guilbert
Hobo: Well, since you won’t give me money, one more thing. Has your sister or girlfriend, I don’t know who she is, ever told you that bag does not go with that coat?
–45th & 9th
Overheard by: Paul Schellenberg
Drunk hobo: Hey girl! You look like Aretha Franlin! R‑E-S-E-C-P‑T! R‑E-S-E-C-P‑T! Give me some respect!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Evan
Hobo: It’s 90 degrees out. Why are we wearing clothes? That’s mental illness.
–Rockefeller Center station
History Is an Unbroken Chain of Irony
German tourist #1: We went to the Jewish Heritage Museum yesterday and the security was crazy! The metal detector reacted to the button of my jeans, they didn’t let me carry my bag, and I had to hand in my jacket as well. They didn’t even do that when we toured the UN building!
German tourist #2: Maybe you were just racially profiled.
–Staten Island Ferry
If It’s Invisible, Might As Well Make It a Cell
A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone.
Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing!
He hangs up his imaginary phone.
Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much.
–Staten Island ferry
So You Judge Books by the Print on the Cover?
Guy: Yeah, that date movie was dumb.
Girl: Oh, you saw it?
Guy: No, but I could tell by the font it would be dumb. It was the same font as Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie. I really hated those movies.
Girl: Ahhh, impact.
Guy: What?
Girl: The font. It’s called “impact.”
–Staten Island Ferry
This Girl on the Titanic: Yeah, He Said the Ship Hit an Iceberg. So Anyway…
Crazy guy gasps: Help! [No one moves.] I said, ‘Help’!
Chick on cell: He said, ‘Help.’
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Nicole
Sylvia Hadn’t Realized They Were off Staten Island.
Suit, tapping singing girl on the shoulder: You sing wonderfully.
Girl: Thank you very much.
Suit: Yeah, by “wonderfully” I mean it sounds like a cat getting ass raped by a donkey. So I am sure that everyone else would appreciate you not doing that anymore as it is only 6 am.
(passengers clap)
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Remember That Whole Strike Thing?
Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against!
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Presenting — the Classiest Couple on Staten Island
20-ish guy: Can I please put my balls in your hair?!
Girlfriend: No! Knock it off!
–Staten Island Ferry
That’s Obscene.
Little girl: Mommy! Mommy! How many times have I asked you for a brother?
Mother to friend: Yeah, she’s been buggin’ me about having a boy.
Little girl: Yeah! And we can name him David!
Mother: David? David? Hooooo, girl! Hell no!
–Staten Island Ferry
