Guy #1: I finished my basement this weekend.
Guy #2: You finally finished it!
Guy #2: Yeah, it's now a finished basement.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Ron
Archive for the ‘Staten Island Ferry’ Category
Hush, Little Wednesday, Don't You One-Liner
Mother to screaming child: Please stop crying and put your coat on. I am not hurting you or torturing you, so please stop crying. –4th Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: olivejuice Father to kid who just started crying: Hey, stop! I thought I told you to wait until we got home! –Park Slope, Brooklyn Overheard by: Lucian Guy to girl, on Valentine's Day: You look fat when you cry. –Cobble Hill Overheard by: MJB Hispanic man on phone to girlfriend: Ma, why you cryin?! You should be breaking up with me because I hit you! –Staten Island Ferry Guy to girlfriend: I'm sorry I pulled your hair while you were crying. –Bowery & 2nd
Better Spit Out That Gum Before Walking
Gum-chewing chick #1: He should get life for what he did.
Gum-chewing chick #2: Life? He should be executed!
Gum-chewing chick #1: That’s what I mean! He should get life!
Gum-chewing chick #2: That’s not what “getting life” means. “Getting life” means you go to prison for the rest of your life. Don’t you know anything?
Gum-chewing chick #1: Well, I don’t read the papers or watch the news…
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Johnny Drongo
Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner
Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused. –Washington Square East 20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! –N Train Overheard by: TR Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body. –39th & 9th Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Ems Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block! –Bedford & Grove Overheard by: How many is too many? Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother. –Tisch School of the Arts Overheard by: Bruce Lee Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis! –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Jingles
Some Rappers’ Names Are More Menacing Than Others
Thugette: … And that was the last time I ever messed around with dehydration, yo.
Preggers thugette: Fo’ real.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: wait.. what?
If It’s Invisible, Might As Well Make It a Cell
A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone. Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing! He hangs up his imaginary phone. Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much. –Staten Island ferry
Wednesday One-Liners Love the Skin They're In
Skinny pale male hippie with hair in top knot, to friend, calmly: I'm going to lose my brain. A piece of my brain. –E.11th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Liz Man on cell: Yeah, he crossed the line. Then, when he started talking about my wife's anatomy I was just disgusted. –31st Parking Garage Thug, about his baby son: So, I'm lookin' at this kid. I be lookin' at him real hard. He got everything I got! Square head, the shoulders, the flat feet, everything! Straight down to the penis! –Staten Island Ferry Out of towner to friend: I just want to let you know your armpit is making my wrist very warm right now. –3 Train Overheard by: there are worse places you could put that, I guess… Man to friends: He empties his mind into your face. –5th Ave & 11th St
Wednesday One-liners Belong in a Zoo
Girl: Yeah, so, did you hear that the bald eagle isn’t extinct anymore? –Central Park
You're No Body 'Til Some Body Wednesday One-Liners You
Girl: He has a really amazing skull. –Bakery, Cortelyou Road Guy to friend: Why is that girls can get away with picking their noses? –170th St & Broadway Loud girl on cell in line at deli: You know I have bladder issues whenever I have sex! –Broadway & Ooper Lady suit, screaming into cell: Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! I need a goddamn colon cleanse! –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Colin
It Was All, “My Legs! My Legs!”
Girl: I once caught a frog and it screamed.
Group of friends: Wow!
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Mike Waller