Archive for the ‘STDs’ Category

So We Played Naked Charades and I Guessed It Right Away

Girl to friend: So, I found out that Jon has herpes and he never told me.
(friend looks at her in shock)
Girl: Not that kind of herpes, the other kind. But I talked to him about it. It’s pretty funny, actually. But he didn’t tell me. Well…we don’t really talk about stuff like that.

–110th St & Broadway

Headline by: ikki nikki

Runners-Up:
· “…Until I Googled Valtrex, That Is” — keeps on giving
· “Genital Sores Tend to Speak for Themselves” — DCGeek
· “So Long As He Keeps It in His Ass, It Doesn’t Affect Our Relationship” — BenGay
· “The Line for Guest Appearences on Maury Starts Here…” — John
· “We Don’t Want Things to Get Too Simplex” — erak
· “Which Is Why He Doesn’t Know About My Three Abortions” — Jesse
· “You Mean the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Kind Of Herpes?” — leoladie23

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

You’ve Been Waiting for an Excuse to Use That One, Haven’t You?

NYU girl: I’m not surprised that she has mono. I mean, she’s been a slut for a while now. It was bound to catch up with her.
Friend: Yeah, she’s a reverse jukebox.
NYU girl: A what?
Friend: You know how you put money into a jukebox and it makes noise? Guys put their dicks in her to make her shut the fuck up.

–NYU Silver Center

Wednesday One-Liners for the Thirteen-Year-Old in Everyone

Girl to friend: Whenever I get a really big booger, I feed it to the dog.

–Apartment Building, Midtown

Girl: And the doctor asked if she’d gone down on anyone lately, and she said “yeah, and when I was doing it, all these little bumps kept falling off in my mouth,” and the doctor said “you have genital warts in your throat.”

–L Train

Overheard by: atrain

Man on cell: And he opened a can of worms, ate the whole thing and then spit it all into his friend’s mouth. We were dry heaving. But everyone just looked at us weird.

–1st & 15th

Overheard by: Angela

Preteen boy on cell: (belches) Huh? (belches again, loudly) What did you say? I can’t hear you, I’m burping.

–77th & 2nd

Girl to friend: My dad would say, “don’t send her chocolate, it makes mucus.”

–W 24th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Fred Daubert