Archive for the ‘Stoners’ Category

Don’t Bog­a­rt the Wednes­day One-Lin­ers!

Fly­er guy to tourist: Take it, take it, it’s free! But my weed is not. I’ll be right here un­til five.

–45th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: En­gi

Yup­pie guy: Hey, you wan­na buy a bong and get pierced?

–Mac­Dou­gal & Bleeck­er

Over­heard by: Bet­ty Noir

Guy lis­ten­ing to iPod: Pussy, mon­ey, weed! Pussy, mon­ey, weed! Pussy, mon­ey, weed!

–183rd & Audubon Ave

Over­heard by: BB

Black guy to an­oth­er: All those nig­gas do is smoke weed and call ACS on each oth­er!

–A train, Brook­lyn

Guy on cell: Dude every time she sees me she’s like, ‘O‑M-G, you’re high.’ And I usu­al­ly am, but like, I like to think I hide it well. But she al­ways knows. And even so, I’m like, ‘Em, why do you have to com­ment on it every sin­gle time? At the dorms, at par­ties, even at Tar­get one time!’ Ha­ha­ha… But any­way, we might come Thurs­day. I’ll see if my funds are in or­der to make the trip. What kind of shit would we have to wear? Beach stuff? Oooh, and I could rock my stun­na shades.

–6 train

Guy out­side MTV stu­dios: Stay calm. Every­thing is go­ing to be okay. There will be mar­i­jua­na give­aways.

–1515 Broad­way

Over­heard by: Re­bec­ca

We Knew It Would Hap­pen When Dick Came Out

Ston­er #1: You know how there’s these mile­stones in movies, like the first movie to show a tit, the first one to show a dick, the first one to show some­one pinch­ing a loaf?
Ston­er #2: Yeah…
Ston­er #1: I won­der when there’ll be the first movie with the word ‘fuck’ in the ti­tle. Think we’ll live to see it?
Ston­er #2, af­ter long pause: Not count­ing porn?
Ston­er #1: Of course.
Ston­er #2: Yeah.
Ston­er #1: So, you think we’ll live to see it?
Ston­er #2: Porn?
Ston­er #1: No. ‘Fuck.’ In the ti­tle.
Ston­er #2: Hope so.

–B41 bus, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry