Man: I want to change my access code. My girl’s got my access code and I don’t want her to have it no more. I don’t want her seeing my messages, see?
Customer service lady: OK. But that’s a Sprint phone.
Man: So?
Woman: This is the Verizon store.
Man: Oh. Really?
–Verizon, 86th between Lexington & 3rd
Overheard by: Carolyn
Teen girl #1: Don’t read it.
Teen boy: Really?
Teen girl #2: It’s so overrated. Everyone’s like “Oh my god, Frankenstien is awesome!” but it’s not. It isn’t. Frankenstein sucks so hard.
Teen girl #1: Victor spends half the book sick, and the monster spends half the book spying on a family with a hot Arabian chick.
Teen boy: What about all the torches and Igor and everything?
Teen girl #2: Not there.
Teen boy: For real?
Teen girl #1: Just a lot of a Swiss guy crying and lying on the floor. I even have it in my notes, “Victor says: ‘When in doubt, pass out!'” And there’s a stick figure giving a thumbs up.
–Forbidden Planet
Older man, to no one in particular: That's why I keep my income low, so no one jumps me.
–Myrtle & Clinton, Brooklyn
Woman with scratch-off lotto card to friend: I won four dollars! I won four dollars! You know I can't spend that, though. I gotta get food for my kids. Those niggas be hungry!
–Staten Island Ferry
Angelic-looking teen girl screaming into cell: Are you coming to the movies with me? You're broke? Just mug someone on the way. Mug someone! (pause) Mug! M-u-g! Rhymes with "thug"!
–Chambers & West St
Puerto Rican dude on cell: I ain't got no money. I got weed, but I ain't got no money.
–25th St & 7th Ave
Village lady: She was in foreclosure before it was fashionable to be in foreclosure.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
Yuppie lady boasting about son: He graduated summa cum laude from Villanova!
Cashier: Vee-la-no-va? Is that in New York?
Yuppie lady: No, it’s in–
Cashier, interrupting: –Yeah, then I don’t care.
–Clothing store, 54th & 5th
Black chick: I figured it out — when I fart on someone, when I spit on someone, it’s lucky!
Latina: Wait, so if I spit on someone, it ain’t lucky?
Black chick: Nah, because it ain’t me doin’ it. It gotta be me.
–Dressing room, Forever 21
Overheard by: I don’t need to be lucky, really…
Tween: I just didn't think it would be so…gooey.
Tween friends, in unison: Ew!
–Barnes & Noble, Bayside
Overheard by: bookseller
Girl #1: Oh my gosh, this is so cool.
Girl #2: I know. [Smiles.]Girl #1: Thanks for bringing me here, I love you. I am so glad I became a lesbian, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have met you!
Girl #2: Aww, thanks. Do you want to go to my apartment now?
Girl #1: Yes! Let’s go. Are we going to have fun like we did last night?
Girl #2: Even more, baby.
–M&M Store, Times Square
Eight-year old boy, barely audibly: Do you have any kid's shoes?
Middle aged clerk: Do I have sex? (pause) Well…
Eight-year old boy, slightly more audibly: Naw, do you have any kid's shoes?
Middle aged clerk: Kids? Yes. I've got one 24 and one 19. I know they're not really kids, but they still seem like it to me.
Eight-year-old boy: Naw, naw! (loudly) I said “do you have any kid's shoes?”
–Shoe Store, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eremi
Mom, looking at bedding: Oooh, this one is nice.
Daughter: Mom, I’m getting married. I want to have sex. Lots of it. Hot, steamy, nasty, married-people sex. I just don’t think I can do that on pastels.
–JCPenney bridal registry