Yankees fan to stranger: Yo, you want a Jägerbomb?
Stranger: Obviously!
–Citi Field Parking Lot
Overheard by: Adam
Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category
A Typical Saturday Night for David Hasselhoff
Angry drunk yelling at man: Fuck you! Fuck your mother! I hope you die, you piece of shit!
Angry drunk’s girlfriend: Will you just calm down?
Angry drunk: No, fuck that! I hope he dies! I hope his mother dies! I’ll fucking go back in time and terminate his mother!
Brave stranger: (laughs)
Angry drunk: What the fuck are you laughing at motherfucker?
Brave stranger: Going back in time and terminating his mother.
Angry drunk: Well, okay, that is funny… I like that movie too. (pause) Fuck him, I hope he dies!
–Q Train
Miss Piggy: Don’t Make Moi Come Over There
Production assistant: Excuse me sir, no flash photography please. For the safety of our actors.
Bystander: Actors? They’re Muppets!
–Muppets Movie Set, Park Slope
Like Anyone Hears Anything Said on a Cell Phone
Jogging hoochie on cell: Yeah, I just touched down in Boston. No, I’m still in the airport waiting for my bag.
Black guy: Don’t believe her! She’s in Atlantic City!
–Central Park
Overheard by: MaliceAlice
You’re Still Only As Safe As Your Lover, Sweetie
Well-meaning volunteer: Help yourself, free condoms from the department of public health.
Hugely pregnant passerby: Too late.
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: Katie
The Problem with Facebook, in a Nutshell.
Teen girl: Yeah, I’ll talk to you on Facebook.
Man in truck, overhearing: I have Facebook too! Add me!
–Lower East Side
His Morning Wood Is a Bonsai
Big Guido, yelling at female bystanders after minor traffic accident: Why don’t you shut the fuck up and get something to do… go suck a dick somewhere!
Woman bystander: Well, I’d suck you if you weren’t so small…
–55th & Madison
Overheard by: kerstin
Just Like Les Mis!
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How’s it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It’s hilarious when you’re high!
–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel
Night Train, Thunderbird and Wednesday One-Liners
Crazy hobo with guitar to stranger: Damn… you invited a lot of people.
–1 Train
Hobo to young married couple: I have found the promised land. Seriously. I’d get a plane ticket right now, but it’d be cheaper to go to confession for a week and then get hit by a bus. Remind me to tell you about this later.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Oliver
Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-something girl walks past him, with businessman a few steps behind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…
–W 3rd & Thompson
Hobo, taking donations to help the homeless, counting coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fistful of coins sticks in pocket) Tax rebate!
–Union Square
Okay, Now Let’s Try the Kit-Kat Song
Woman looking for friend who got lost in massive crowd: Marco! Marco!
Massive crowd of people: Polo!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Julia
