Man reciting gospel on a train: And you, sir, have you accepted Jesus into your life?
Passenger: A long time ago, baby. Now fuck off.
–1 Train
Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category
As the Dodgers Said in 1957
Guy #1: (howls like an animal)
Guy #2: (makes owl noise and starts hooting)
Group of people, including guys #1 and #2: (all start making animal calls, screams, hoots etc)
Man #1 on train: Shut the fuck up!
Group of howlers: (sporadically throws in more animal noises and then profusely thanks the glaring audience as they exit train)
Man#2 on train: At least they’re someone else’s problem now.
Man#1 on train: I’m never going to Brooklyn again.
–F Train
Overheard by: it only takes 3 stops to decide
So, Easier to Live with Than You?
Curious spectator: Are greyhounds easy to live with?
Greyhound owner: Honey, in the past forty years, I’ve had three husbands and only one breed of dog!
–Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
Overheard by: Another Greyhound Lover
Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds Didn’t Always Get Along During the Filming Of Singin’ in the Rain
Disgruntled woman: You know, you could take someone’s eye out if you’re not careful with that umbrella.
Umbrella-wielding man, cheerily: That is perfectly okay!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Lysa
Okay, Now Let’s Try the Kit-Kat Song
Woman looking for friend who got lost in massive crowd: Marco! Marco!
Massive crowd of people: Polo!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Julia
Today It’s a Lolly. Tomorrow It’s a BMW
(waiting in line)
Four-year-old kid: Mommy, I really want a lollipop!
Mom: Uhuh, move up here honey.
Kid: Mom! Just give in, I want a lollipop, okay?
(mother ignores him)
Kid: Just give in, it’s okay, I want one. It’s okay to give in, mom.
(pause)
Kid: Mom, this isn’t going to work for me! I want a lollipop!
Random guy in line: Resist!
–Associated Supermarkets, Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: CaitlinisNewHere
He Stoops to Conquer
White guy: I feel like I’m taller than everyone.
Indian girl: That’s because you are. Freak!
–Canal & Centre
No Vanity-Based Business Plan Can Fail in New York
Jamaican guy holding full length mirror: One dollar to look at yourself in the mirror! One dollar! I am the first to come up with this idea! Don’t steal it, or I’ll sue you… [He’s ignored.] Okay, first time is free! C’mon, first time free! Or gimme a quarter!
Laughing kid: Yo, what are you smoking, man?
Jamaican guy: I smoke blood! I don’t drink blood, I smoke blood!
Unrelated Jamaican girl: Why you so loud? Shut up already.
Jamaican guy: I’m sorry, ma. You’re so beautiful. I look at you, I just can’t believe how beautiful you are. How ’bout you gimme one dollar, look in the mirror?
–6 train
Overheard by: Sam McDermott
Your Friend — She Is Cockblocking, Yes?
Awkward French Casanova: Excuse me?
Chick in huge sunglasses: What?
Awkward French Casanova: Your necklace — it is a bat?
Chick in huge sunglasses: Yeah.
Awkward French Casanova: You like bats?
Chick in huge sunglasses: Yeah.
Awkward French Casanova: And your sunglasses — are they heavy?
Chick in huge sunglasses: Nope.
Awkward French Casanova: Ah. And I see you–
Chick’s friend, interrupting: –Will you shut the fuck up?!
–1 train
Overheard by: freedom fries?
When We Took Your Wallet and Divided It Up Amongst Us, for Instance.
Drunk guy in full New Year regalia: Well, I’m from fuckin’ Pennsylvania and I never seen anything like this! This shit is fantastic! Woo!
Irritated sober woman: Really? No one on this train had any idea you weren’t from New York!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
