Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category

Your Friend — She Is Cock­block­ing, Yes?

Awk­ward French Casano­va: Ex­cuse me?
Chick in huge sun­glass­es: What?
Awk­ward French Casano­va: Your neck­lace — it is a bat?
Chick in huge sun­glass­es: Yeah.
Awk­ward French Casano­va: You like bats?
Chick in huge sun­glass­es: Yeah.
Awk­ward French Casano­va: And your sun­glass­es — are they heavy?
Chick in huge sun­glass­es: Nope.
Awk­ward French Casano­va: Ah. And I see you–
Chick­’s friend, in­ter­rupt­ing: –Will you shut the fuck up?!

–1 train

Over­heard by: free­dom fries?

When We Took Your Wal­let and Di­vid­ed It Up Amongst Us, for In­stance.

Drunk guy in full New Year re­galia: Well, I’m from fuckin’ Penn­syl­va­nia and I nev­er seen any­thing like this! This shit is fan­tas­tic! Woo!
Ir­ri­tat­ed sober woman: Re­al­ly? No one on this train had any idea you weren’t from New York!

–Up­town 1 Train

Over­heard by: Rose Fox

Night Train, Thun­der­bird and Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Crazy hobo with gui­tar to stranger: Damn… you in­vit­ed a lot of peo­ple.

–1 Train

Hobo to young mar­ried cou­ple: I have found the promised land. Se­ri­ous­ly. I’d get a plane tick­et right now, but it’d be cheap­er to go to con­fes­sion for a week and then get hit by a bus. Re­mind me to tell you about this lat­er.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Oliv­er

Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-some­thing girl walks past him, with busi­ness­man a few steps be­hind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…

–W 3rd & Thomp­son

Hobo, tak­ing do­na­tions to help the home­less, count­ing coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fist­ful of coins sticks in pock­et) Tax re­bate!

–Union Square

Bet­ter Hun­dreds Dead Than My­self In­con­ve­nienced

His­pan­ic guy: Can you be­lieve they shut down the train sta­tion ’cause one guy got sick.
Old black guy: Fuckin’ self­ish-ass peo­ple, man. Self­ish.
Young woman: He was hav­ing a seizure.
Old black guy: Well, I would’ve dragged him out or some­thing.
White guy: I can’t be­lieve this is hap­pen­ing to me on my first day out of jail.

–116th & Broad­way bus stop

Over­heard by: Kendall

If James Dean Were Still Alive To­day

Man: Do you wan­na ride in the side­car of my mo­tor­bike? My son does that all the time. We go re­al­ly fast!
Teen girl: Yeah, sure, I’d love to go in your pre-war side­car. With a bit of luck, all my friends will see me with some crazy bald man and that will be the end of my life. No, thanks!

–The Vil­lage

He’s Baaaack!

Strange guy: Ex­cuse me, NYU stu­dents?
Guy #1: Yeah?
Strange guy: I’m your biggest ri­val.
Guy #1: Huh?
Strange guy: Co­lum­bia. Law school. I’m com­ing for you.
Guy #1: Okay…
Strange guy: Em­ploy­er sees ré­sumé from NYU, ré­sumé from Co­lum­bia, al­ways picks Co­lum­bia.
Guy #1: Okay. Have a nice day.
Strange guy: I’m com­ing for you, trust fund ba­by.
Guy #2: I’m sure that Co­lum­bia ré­sumé makes up for not hav­ing a pe­nis…
Guy #1: Trust fund ba­by?
Strange guy: Co­lum­bia. [Flicks them off and leaves.]

–Star­bucks, As­tor Pl & Lafayette

Over­heard by: NYU Stu­dent