Archive for the ‘Students’ Category

Look, the Chips are Red!

Co­lum­bia stu­dent #1: Would you like a free cook­ie from the Co­lum­bia an­ti-So­cial­ist club?
Co­lum­bia stu­dent #2: Should­n’t that be “earn a cook­ie”?

–Morn­ing­side Heights

Over­heard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy

A Bet­ter Ques­tion: Why Did Every­one Still Show Up?

Puz­zled stu­dent: Pro­fes­sor, ac­cord­ing to the syl­labus we have a pa­per due in a week… What’s it on?
Equal­ly puz­zled phi­los­o­phy pro­fes­sor: You have a pa­per due in a week? I was afraid of that!
Puz­zled stu­dent: Al­so, ac­cord­ing to the syl­labus, we don’t even have class to­day. There’s…nothing writ­ten there.
Equal­ly puz­zled phi­los­o­phy pro­fes­sor: Re­al­ly? Huh. Well, I must have been drunk when I did that.

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

It’s Fun­ny Be­cause It’s Per­ma­nent!

Pro­fes­sor: So there’s this study that says that left-hand­ed peo­ple have low­er evo­lu­tion­ary fit­ness.
Stu­dent: Does that mean that we’re doomed be­cause the Pres­i­dent is left hand­ed?
Pro­fes­sor, with­out miss­ing a beat: No, it just means he’s go­ing to die.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty