Archive for the ‘Students’ Category

Too Soon?

NYU girl #1: I have so much work due in this next week that it’s not even funny. I kind of want to kill myself.
NYU girl #2, glancing around: Don’t say things like that. People actually take you seriously around here.

–Starbucks, Washington Sq Park

Overheard by: prospective nyu student … or not

The Student Has Become the Master

English teacher: We need nine groups. How many people are in there in this class? 26. So that’s nine groups with… Nine times three is 36. Times two is 18. Eight times four is 32. Times three is 24. So eight groups of three with one group of two. Count off. Okay, ones over there, twos over there, threes over there, fours over there, fives… Oh. Guys, why didn’t you catch this? I’m an English teacher for a reason!
Student #1: Why don’t you just group them in threes, like first set of three there…
Teacher: No, I wanted to mix you guys up. Alright, starting over, one to eight.
Student #1: One.
Student #2: Two.
Student #3: Three.
Student #4: One.

–Goldstein High School, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

I Do Now

High school girl #1: Oh my god, I hate her, like, I have never hated anyone more.
High school girl #2: I know! She is such a slut. (pause) We're talking about Chantel, right?
High school girl #1: No, I was talking about Lacey. (pause) You think Chantel is a slut?

–Outside MoMA

Wine and Wednesday One-Liners

Female college student on cell: Sorry, there was an incident. She was eating string cheese, and I told her she looked like a walrus. So she tried to smack me in the face but she couldn't, and I ran into the bathroom. So she tried to hit me with the string cheese, but I was like your string cheese will get all fuzzy. So she smacked me in the face with the cheese.

–Penn Station

Girl on phone: And then I stuck a string cheese in the microwave. Yeah, in the wrapper.

–57th & 7th

Sexy guy, looking at orchestra program description of movement "con brio": Does that mean "with cheese"?

–Camerata Notturna Concert, W. 57th St

Overheard by: Ladle

Older European woman to another: She's fine with the reference to cheese. I mean, she can eat cheese, just not the real kind.

–Union Square

Hipster: So she writes everything down in her cheese diary…

–Bedford & 4th

You Ghetto-of-the-Ivy-League Poser

Columbia student: Do you go to NYU?
NYU student: Yes, how did you know?
Columbia student: I could tell by your dirty shoes. NYU gets their students from the homeless shelter.
NYU student: Excuse me?
Columbia student: I’m your biggest enemy.
NYU student: What?
Columbia student: I go to Columbia.
NYU student: Can you leave me alone?

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: Cooper Union Student

Privacy Maniacs