Girl #1: I want to get pregnant in March. Let’s get pregnant in march.
Girl #2: Wait, where are we now?
Girl #1: My uterus is ready.
Girl #2: I had a full checkup, and my uteri are great.
Girl #1: Oh my god, you have two uteruses? You are awesome! You have utters. You have yoo-utters!
Girl #2: Yeah, I have three breasts.
–Cafe near Columbia
Overheard by: DL
SAT prepping kid #1: What’s hydrolysis?
SAT prepping kid #2: Dude, don’t you play Grand Theft Auto? Hydrolysis is what makes the cars bump up and down.
SAT prepping kid #3: Um…Hydrolysis is the splitting of things in water.
SAT prepping kid #2: Whatever. Same thing.
–2 train near Borough Hall
Overheard by: Everclear
Headline by: Dave Schavone
Runners-Up:
· “Rollin’ in His H20” — JP
· “Another Roads Scholar” — Emily
· “It’s San Andreas’s Fault” — boods
Honorable mentions:
· “Only Aquaman Knows For Sure” — Sara Swank
· “Putting the “Dense” in Reverse Condensation” — Elan
· “The Sad Part Is, They All Got Into Brown” — Betsy
· “They Had Their Ups and Downs, then Splitsville” — Steven Foster
· “He Learns By Osmosis” — melissa coubrough
Girl: …but it’s not like you have to be really religious to be a nun anyway, right?
–Clara Barton High, Crown Heights
Guy #1: Yo, check out my new hat.
Guy #2: Pffff…shit man, I had a new hat yesterday.
–Grand St & Bushwick, Brooklyn
Construction Worker: So is Camel Toe the same as Hammer Time?
–Pace University
Overheard by: Lil
Boy, 7: Daddy, I wanna see the Empire State Building.
Father: Sorry, son. That’s way uptown and we’re headed downtown.
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Christopher Mignemi
Female tourist: Oh, look! American Apparel!
Friend: Is that the only one?
–5th & 19th
Overheard by: nate
Bimbette tourist: Oh my god! What’s that? It looks like a cool, underground club or secret hideout.
Friend: Um, that’s the entrance to the subway.
–57th & 7th
Overheard by: office peon adopted a dog!
Columbia hipster girl #1: They were going out for a while.
Columbia hipster girl #2: Like, in college or in the real world?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Living a fantasy
Queer #1: Okay, the question is, would you do Anderson Cooper?
Queer #2: I’d do him.
Queer #3: I’d do him too.
Queer #4: I wouldn’t do him.
Queer #5: I so wouldn’t do him.
Queer #6: I would do him.
Queer #1: I wouldn’t do him. Can anyone count? Was it a tie? Shit. Now what?
–Food Bar, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Laight
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
