Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category

She’s a Ve­g­an — Pass the Cheese­cake

Girl #1: So I was think­ing about milk the oth­er day. Milk comes from cows. And what do cows eat?
Girl #2: Oth­er cows?
Girl #1: No, dum­b­ass! They eat grass! So it stands to rea­son, when you drink milk, you’re ac­tu­al­ly drink­ing liqui­fied grass.
Girl #2: Ugh, gross! I’m so not drink­ing milk any­more.
Girl #1: To­tal­ly, that’s why I drink soy.

–Ve­niero’s, 11th St & 1st Ave

Of Mice and Mo­rons

Eighth-grade girl #1: Man, that Of Mice and Men book was weird.
Eighth-grade girl #2: I know, huh? And why was it called that, any­way? All they talk about is rab­bits. No mice.
Eighth-grade girl #1: Dude, re­al­ly! Why did­n’t that guy call it Of Rab­bits and Men?
Eighth-grade girl #2: I guess be­cause mice al­so starts with M.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Sha­la­mar

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are An­oth­er Year Old­er but None the Wis­er

20-some­thing: I did­n’t even re­al­ize it was my birth­day un­til I checked Face­book!

–Up­per West Side

Over­heard by: mtraine­ti­quette

Girl to friend: We should cel­e­brate tonight–it’s my half birth­day in 10 days.

–Croc­o­dile Lounge, E 14th St

Tourist: See no­body is wear­ing birth­day scars…

–34th St & 5th Ave

Guy to girl: Wait, did you re­al­ly be­lieve I was go­ing to get you a Hel­lo Kit­ty vi­bra­tor for your birth­day?

–45th & 8th

Drunk girl to hobo: It’s my birth­day! You should be giv­ing *me* mon­ey!

–111 & Broad­way

That’s In­clud­ing the Rocks in Her Head

Woman #1: This train goes re­al­ly fast!
Woman #2: They don’t run it as of­ten, I think be­cause they’re afraid peo­ple might jump in front of it.
Woman #1: Oh my god! Who could be that de­pressed? Take some pills, for Christ’s sake.
Woman #2: I’m sur­prised it’s such a prob­lem here, I mean, duh, you got all these tall build­ings.
Woman #1: Well, any build­ing–
Woman #2: No, you got­ta go up at least 17 sto­ries to be sure, oth­er­wise you just end up in a wheel­chair which is, duh, su­per-de­press­ing.
Woman #1: 17 sto­ries!
Woman #2: Maybe 15 for you, you weigh more than me.

–4 train