Guy #1: Sam better on his way to this meeting too.
Guy #2: Let me call the office and check if he’s left yet…Sam, what’s up, man? Where are you?
–E train
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Wednesday One-liner Brought a Half Keg
Girl: I should just drink a lot, like, a lot a lot a lot, and see what happens.
–12th & 3rd
They Have It, But They Call It Schmeer
Girl #1: I can’t believe that CVS didn’t have paint! How about Bagel Art? That place should have paint.
Girl #2: That says Bagel Mart.
Girl #1: No, it doesn’t!
Girl #2: Move a little to your left.
Girl #1: Bagel…Mart. Oh. So then what does it have?
–Gigi’s Pizzeria, Whitestone
Overheard by: Liz
Health Food Fads: 1, Basic Safety: 0
Lady #1: This stuff is really good. It has antidotes in it. It’s good for your skin.
Lady #2: You mean ANTIOXIDANTS. An ANTIDOTE is a short story.
–Barnes & Noble
Right Before They Teach the Gum Brand Names
Teen girl #1: Yo, how you spell juicy?
Teen girl #2: I don’t know; I dropped out of school 6 months ago.
–A train
To Be Fair, It Arrives So Infrequently That Even We Forget.
Subway announcement: The next l train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track.
Midwest tweaker, to no one in particular: Boo-yah! Buh-buh-buh boo-yah! (blows snot rocket onto subway tracks) The l train? What the fuck is that?
–Bedford L Train
Overheard by: Ben Graney
Seriously, No One Says “Spawned”
American man: So you’re a tourist from Great Britain?
British man: Yes, I am.
American man: Where did you learn to speak English?
British man: We spawned the language, you know.
American man: No… that was the English.
–Statue of Liberty crown
We Surveyed 100 New Yorkers; All Disagreed
Girl #1: So I don’t wanna be all like, “whatever,” because he, like, totally likes me.
Girl #2: He told me he thinks you’re smart.
–R train
Overheard by: Jorge De La Garza
Goldfish Go Through This on a Regular Basis
Girl #1, looking at notebook her friend gave her: Hey, that’s a cool notebook!
Girl #2: It’s yours, silly!
Girl #1: Oh, yeah!
–City College of New York
Overheard by: Just chilling around..
All the Caffeine in the World Won’t Help Him There
Guy: I will have a coffee.
Waitress: We don’t have anything hot.
Guy: Then an iced coffee, please?
–New York Comedy Club, East 24th Street
Overheard by: Eric Kuhn
