Guy #1: You should punch her in the face.
Guy #2: I can't, that's assault.
–The Strand
Overheard by: Firefly
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Jesus Isn't Always the Answer, Y'know
NYU journalism professor: Okay, so who invented the European letter press in the 15th century?
Attentive female student in the back: Jesus!
(TA giggles)
–NYU
That’s the Least Successful Children’s Book Ever
Guy #1: The Great Cock Hunt? Isn’t that a Hunter S. Thompson novel?
Guy #2: No, you idiot. It’s a gay porn site. What kind of mo are you?
–Starbucks, 23rd & 8th
She Knows What “Wishful Thinking” Means
Girl #1: I despise books about political science.
Girl #2: I just despise books.
Girl #1: You know, if I paid attention in class, I would know what, like, half these words meant.
–Shakespeare & Co., 69th & Lexington
But the Passport's for Boring Old Latvia.
Guy waiting on passport line: I'd like an expedited passport.
Postal worker: Oooh! Going anywhere fun?
Guy: Florida.
–Post Office, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: BLSwhatwhat
The Annunciation of Wednesday One-liners
Woman: I always thought the Purple Pieman was Satan. Isn’t that one of his many names?
–K-mart, West 34th Street
Overheard by: CC
Wednesday One-liners Join the Jet Set
Southern woman on cell: I could not feel worse than I do right now…You will…Oh my god, they are gonna have to land that airplane so you can vomit.
–66th between CPW and Columbus
Overheard by: Charlie
Dirtbag: Man, I have to get over to Europe. I gotta sell a fucking kidney.
–St. Mark’s Place
Man on cell: Yeah baby, yeah, I’m still in London. Yeah, I’ll be back on Wednesday, baby.
–West 4th & Jane
Conductor: You’re now entering the country of Brooklyn. Please have your passports ready…
–F train
Overheard by: Paul Eng
Um, Why Do You Think Mirrors Were Invented?
Girlfriend: So, you want to make out?
Boyfriend: Both of us?
Girlfriend: Uh… yeah, generally that's how it works.
–A Train
Those Trains Just Keep Going and Going
Woman rushing out of train: Does this train stop at the next stop?
Guy: No.
–downtown C train, 59th St
Not Like Here, Where Every Day's a Fine Day
Shirtless hobo #1: I lived in California before New York… the weather sucks most of the time there.
Shirtless hobo #2: Yeah, dude, I've heard that.
–Washington Square Park