Boy, 7: Daddy, I wanna see the Empire State Building.
Father: Sorry, son. That’s way uptown and we’re headed downtown.
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Christopher Mignemi
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
…on This Block?
Female tourist: Oh, look! American Apparel!
Friend: Is that the only one?
–5th & 19th
Overheard by: nate
The Bouncer Made Them Wait Two Hours
Bimbette tourist: Oh my god! What’s that? It looks like a cool, underground club or secret hideout.
Friend: Um, that’s the entrance to the subway.
–57th & 7th
Overheard by: office peon adopted a dog!
Takes Years to Learn There Is No Real World
Columbia hipster girl #1: They were going out for a while.
Columbia hipster girl #2: Like, in college or in the real world?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Living a fantasy
The Mole Ruins Another Challenge
Queer #1: Okay, the question is, would you do Anderson Cooper?
Queer #2: I’d do him.
Queer #3: I’d do him too.
Queer #4: I wouldn’t do him.
Queer #5: I so wouldn’t do him.
Queer #6: I would do him.
Queer #1: I wouldn’t do him. Can anyone count? Was it a tie? Shit. Now what?
–Food Bar, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Laight
But I’m Pretty Sure Xavier’s Mansion Is in Weschester, NY
Student #1: Yo, what’s in Iceland?
Student #2: Nigga, what do you think? Ice, obviously!
Student #1: Don’t that mean Iceman lives there, then?
Student #2: Good question…
–High School for Environmental Studies, W 56th St
We’ve Determined You Might Accidentally Eat a Key
Chick: Excuse me, how much is it to use the computers?
Clerk: Two-fifty for 15 minutes.
Chick: So, how much is it for an hour?
Clerk: Ten dollars.
Chick: No, it’s not!
Clerk: … Yes, it is.
Chick: No way! It’s not! Stop lying!
Clerk: You know what? You can’t use the computers. Get out.
–Computer cafe, 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Tech Monkey
Wednesday One-liners Bring It
Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Eugenics
Bimbo #1: I just want to move to another state, you know?
Bimbo #2: Yeah, like further south?
Bimbo #1: No, probably Australia.
Bimbo #2: Oh my God, me too! My cousin owns this train station, we could totally go!
Bimbo #1: Nah. I have a date tonight.
Headline by: johnny pissoff
Runners-Up:
· “All Aboard the Pangea Express” — Stitches
· “And Australia’s like, “WTF mate?”” — one L
· “Ashley crushes yet another of Jessica’s plans.” — Heidi
· “Besides, i dont speak german…” — senny
· “Crikey! Thank God the Stingrays Got Me Before They Arrived.” — Katie
· “Going Down, But Not Under” — sigh
· “It’s good to see Condy getting out more” — mp
· “Wait, You Have a Date? That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” — 08kjl
Now How I’d Deal with My Thesis Advisor, But Whatever.
Frat boy #1: If he kills me, I will kill him!
Frat boy #2: Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: ihatevegs
