Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category

“What do you mean, you’re an Av­er­age Joe?”

Woman #1: She had been dat­ing him for, like, two years and then she saw him on a re­al­i­ty dat­ing show last night. Now she’s go­ing break up with him.
Woman #2: Well, maybe the show was filmed be­fore they were dat­ing. You know, some­times those things take a while to get on the air.
Woman #1: They were go­ing out for 2 years! Don’t you think he should have at least men­tioned to her, “By the way, I was on a dat­ing show”?

–Du­ane Reade, 52nd be­tween Madi­son & Park

Over­heard by: Cap­tain Ob­vi­ous

You Mean Like Ba­con?

Boyfriend: So, my bud­dy’s cel­e­brat­ing Rosh Hashanah to­mor­row, and he said he’ll bring me some matzah ball soup.
Girl­friend: He’s cel­e­brat­ing what? And giv­ing you what?
Boyfriend: Some Jew­ish hol­i­day. Some Jew­ish food.
Girl­friend: Ah.

–2 train

Over­heard by:

…By Glaz­ing Over the Truth.

Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Give me six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, which ones?
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: These are all donuts… Which ones?
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, I’ll just give you a se­lec­tion of six. (starts putting ran­dom donuts in bag)
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts, don’t trick me.

–Flat­bush, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Save the Whales, Save the Whole Thing

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have Trou­ble Re-Fold­ing the Map

New York­er: …and then the tourists paused near the con­struc­tion of the New York Times’ new build­ing, and one, who was I guess their leader, point­ed to it and said, “Every­one, that’s Ground Ze­ro.”

–26th & Park

Tourist: And this is H Street. So we’ll be in So­Ho next.

–Hous­ton Street

Tourist girl: Oh, look! I think that’s Times Square!

–Broad­way & Hous­ton

Over­heard by: Sum­i­tra

Woman on cell: No, I can’t. I’m in the Times Square area right now.

–Canal & Bax­ter

Over­heard by: Steph J.

Dude: Ex­cuse me, is this Times Square?

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Dumb­found­ed

Teenage girl: Does this train go to Man­hat­tan?

–Times Square, wait­ing for the down­town C train

Over­heard by: Court­ney

Tourist: Wait, are we in Man­hat­tan or just New York?

–Times Square

Over­heard by: bet­sy

Aus­tralian hip­ster: Could you tell me how to get back to Man­hat­tan?

–112th & Broad­way