Archive for the ‘Stuyvesant’ Category

Instead Of a Sweatshop in Brooklyn!

Student #1: Yo, who cares about the surrender at Yorktown?
Student #2: Actually, that’s mad important.
Student #1: Oh, really?
Teacher: Well, if the British hadn’t surrendered we’d all (in a British accent) talk like this and sound ridiculous.
Student #1: Um, no, if that had happened I’d probably be in Pakistan, in my village, farming.
Student #2: You’d be dead because the British had control of Pakistan too.
Student #1: And you’d be working a factory in China!

–Stuyvesant High School

Don’t Read Too Much Into These Wednesday One-Liners

Check in girl: I only like buying books with sparkles on the cover.

–York & 72nd

Overheard by: fance

Teenage girl on cell: I gotta find this book in the religion section. You know, it’s like… it’s not that you believe in god, or you don’t believe in god, but that you just don’t care? I want that book!

–Borders Bookstore, Midtown

Amtrak conductor: A free copy of Amtrak’s Arrive magazine is located in your seat pocket. For those seeking enlightenment, this magazine is the first step.

–Train, Penn Station

Student, discussing The Sound and the Fury: I suppose it’s a very *artsy* ending–a big, retarded guy holding a broken flower… Does that come with skinny jeans and an apartment in Williamsburg?

–Stuyvesant High School

Tipsy 30-something nerd: We can’t all be riding escalators with hard-ons.(older woman turns around) What, lady? It’s a literary reference, look it up!

–1st & 7th

Overheard by: Phyllis Dean

Unless It’s an Apparition Doing the Molesting, Like That Hot Scene in Ghostbusters

Girl #1: I am so wasted. I got molested by some Mexican at this sleepover party thing.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, I woke up and everyone was fighting cause he touched my boobs. I think there’s some law saying that you can’t molest someone while they’re sleeping.
Girl #2: Actually, I think there’s a law saying you can’t molest someone, period.

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: if walls had ears