Archive for the ‘Subway Stations’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers’ Home­towns Were Glad to See Them Go

Brit la­dy, to MTA booth la­dy: Two adults, please. We’ll be get­ting off around 58th Street.

–14th St F sta­tion

Over­heard by: Fid­get

Tourist: Ex­cuse me, does the F train stop here?

–Sub­way sand­wich­es, Hous­ton & Lafayette

Tourist woman, loud­ly: Jeany? How many stops are we go­ing on this train?

–Times Square shut­tle

Over­heard by: nev­er­mind

Tourist: Ex­cuse me, which way is it to Up­per Town?

–Broad­way & Worth

Over­heard by: dukes

Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast?

–Ground Ze­ro

Tourist: My plane does­n’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty from here?

–La Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: Jose Her­nan­dez

Tourist, lead­ing a group of more than a dozen fel­low tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Sea­port!

–Union Square

Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Em­pire State Build­ing?

–Top of Em­pire State Build­ing

Over­heard by: eng­lish­man in new york

Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a pic­ture?

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

Over­heard by: Steven Low­ell

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Pre­fer Sub­way Sand­wich­es

Lost-look­ing chick on cell: Why do they al­ways fuck with the trains on week­ends? Don’t they know there are stoned peo­ple try­ing to get home?

–Sub­way Plat­form, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Poog­tas­tic

Loud­speak­er dis­patch­er la­dy: Hey you! Up­town num­ber 5! You bet­ter stop stick­ing your head out the win­dow and an­swer me on the ra­dio!

–Up­town 4,5,6 Train, Union Square

Over­heard by: da sarkastik nin­ja.

El­e­gant gen­tle­man, as train starts to de­part sta­tion: Oh, I did­n’t re­al­ize the train was go­ing to move.

–Crowd­ed Up­town 1 Train

MTA an­nounce­ment: The up­town 1 train is run­ning.

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Kriszti­na

Dis­patch­er: The ar­riv­ing train will be the next train. The ar­riv­ing train will be the next train.

–G Train, Court Square

Over­heard by: Ka­trink

Old man: I’m com­ing, train. I’m com­ing. I’m com­ing, train, you son of a bitch bas­tard!

–6 Train

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Re­tain­ing Sperm

20-some­thing woman on cell: I thought I was preg­nant be­cause I was nau­seous all the time, but then I re­al­ized I was just al­ways hun­gover.

–111th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: La­dle

Guy to chick: What the fuck did she get preg­nant for? She need­ed to lose some weight.

–Bow­ery

Hy­per chick: He got me knocked up with this gi­ant pret­zel!

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Pret­zel Ven­dor

20-some­thing girl to friend: Oh, so you’re think­ing be­cause it’s Memo­r­i­al Day week­end you’re gonna get preg­gers?

–Hoyt-Scher­mer­horn Sub­way Sa­tion

Guy, about a cou­ple who’d bro­ken up: She came back to pick up her shit, and when you come back to pick up your shit, you know, shit hap­pens, and she got preg­nant.

–Bed-Stuy, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Ash­ley

La­dy suit on cell: Well, un­less you want to get me preg­nant, I’m not sure I see a way around this!

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

New York Women Know They’re Beau­ti­ful

Techie in suit: I mean, there are two rea­sons. A: it’s bet­ter.
Meat­head friend: Uh-huh.
Techie: A: it’s warmer.
Meat­head: Uh-huh.
Techie: B: the women there are much more re­cep­tive to thin­ly veiled sug­ges­tion.
Meat­head: Uh…
Techie: What I mean by that is that they have low self es­teem. I do my best work with low self es­teem.

–14th St & 8th Ave Sub­way Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Re­bec­ca