(two gay men are adjusting a backpack)
Gay guy #1: Oww, are you sure you know what you’re doing?
Gay guy #2: Don’t question me! I know how to use Velcro.
–51st Street Station
Archive for the ‘Subway stations, platforms, etc.’ Category
And a Fuel Injection System
Hipster boy to girl: After the internet age and the digital age, we are now entering the cyborg age.
Hipster girl to boy: Yeah, cyborgs are totally mainstream now. I saw a special on Fox News all about cyborgs and it was totally mainstream.
Hipster boy to girl: My brother has an insulin pump.
–F Train Platform
Overheard by: sadie
Use a Wednesday, So You Don’t Get One-Linered Up
Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.
–Broadway-Lafayette B/D/F/V Station
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?
–Times Square
Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: “If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant.”? Seriously!
–Broadway & 103rd St
Overheard by: Amy
Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.
–Outside Trader Joe’s, 14th St
Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy–the baby snow monkey–came along. So be careful with your birth control.
–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys
Girl to another: I just don’t see why we can’t make our own condoms.
–14th St & 4th Ave
To Be Fair, It Arrives So Infrequently That Even We Forget.
Subway announcement: The next l train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track.
Midwest tweaker, to no one in particular: Boo-yah! Buh-buh-buh boo-yah! (blows snot rocket onto subway tracks) The l train? What the fuck is that?
–Bedford L Train
Overheard by: Ben Graney
Is It Even Legal to Turn Down Catherine Zeta Jones?
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #1: (gasp) All I know is (gasp) that I would fuck the shit out of her.
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #2: (silence)
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #1: Are you honestly saying (gasp) you wouldn’t fuck the shit out of her?
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #2: If she was a man…
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #1: Fuck that shit! (gasp) I’m not hearing that.
–Subway Stop, 168th & Broadway
Overheard by: I Would 2
It’s a Universal Recognition Symbol
Guy #1, shouting: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: The Village?
Guy #1: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: Ok… The Village…
Guy #1: So if someone grabs your dick, you know what it means!
–West 4th St Station
Overheard by: DS
Tongue Costs Extra
Hobo: Anyone have a $50 bill?…How ’bout you?
Chick: What?
Hobo: Are there any rich people on this train?
Chick: No.
Hobo: You like me? Wanna give me a kiss?
–6 train
Overheard by: S.D. & S.H.
What? Dad Does That All the Time!
Woman, followed by pack of children: Okay, first one to catch up to me gets a dollar!
Little boy: Fifty dollars of joy!
–Times Square Station
Does Checking Make You More or Less of a Loser?
High school-age Jersey girl: So I went on my ex-boyfriend’s Facebook, since his birthday was last week. Only like 30 people wrote on his wall to wish him happy birthday.
Friend: Oh my god. What a loser!
–NJ Transit Terminal, Penn Station
Overheard by: Ashley
It Was a Dark and Stormy Night
Teen guy #1: And that was the third time I got syphilis!
(they enter store, then leave)
Teen guy #2: So, tell me about the second time.
–Metro North Station
Overheard by: theslyvegan and co
