Teen guy #1: And that was the third time I got syphilis!
(they enter store, then leave)
Teen guy #2: So, tell me about the second time.
–Metro North Station
Overheard by: theslyvegan and co
Archive for the ‘Subway stations, platforms, etc.’ Category
And by “Do” I Mean “Steal Your Money and Jerk Off on Your Shoe”
Girl to friend: Fucking prick!
Hobo: Girl, you nasty. You nasty, but I’d still do ya.
–6 train platform, 33rd St
If Only That Worked with Ashlee Simpson
Hobo, singing: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb! Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was…
Man, holding out dollar: I will give you one dollar to shut the fuck up.
Hobo: (shuts up)
–14th St Subway Station
He Wasn’t, Incidentally
Hot girl #1: It’s the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It’s amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.
–Coney Island-bound F train
They’re Busy Being Cold and Hungry, Douche
Girl: How can homeless people even afford to ride the subway?
Guy: I wonder if they think of their MetroCard as a business investment.
–N train
Overheard by: Daniel Motta
It’s a Natural Defense Against Predators
Girl #1: Like, I used to either black out or throw up, not both. But lately, I have only been blacking out!
Girl #2: Well, which do you prefer?
Girl #1: Actually, I prefer blacking out.
Girl #2: Oh, really? Id rather throw up.
–6 platform, Union Square
I’m More of an ‘Assfuck ’em and Leave ’em Crying in a Puddle of their Own Urine’ Kind of Girl
Teenage girl #1: Then he was kissing my forehead a lot after we hooked up so I told everyone there he was gay.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, that is really gay.
–Houston St station
Wednesday One-Liners Are Dimmer Than a Flintstones Night Light
Gay guy to friend: I may be gay but I’m not stupid.
–The Flame Diner, 58th St & 9th Ave
Woman to man: But they were only stopping the dumbasses… That’s why they stopped your dumb ass.
–W 66th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
(Blonde is having trouble hailing cab during rush hour)
Gypsy cab driver in town car: No one will take you cuz you’re stupid!
–116th & Broadway
20-something guy to girl: It’s eleven and it will take you till one to get home, then I’ll call you and tell you how stupid you are.
–4th St Subway Station
Overheard by: Glad I’m not dating him
Girl: Alexis, we’ve been over this. You’re stupid.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Crosby
Bimbette, yelling into cell: Yo! Look who you’re talking to–I’m not exactly the smartest person in the world!
–Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: dumb as a rock
Because Mr. Cruise is Clearly Well Balanced
L. Ron Hubtard: Do you have stress?
Man: I live in New York, what the fuck do you think? “Do I have stress?” Fuck you.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: ichi gami
Next Stop: Put in Your Place Street
Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more people can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surfing.
Girl #1: It just sucks being squeezed in like this. Especially when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are going to do.
Girl #1: –and people won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t understand that you have to get off. This time I’m going to be like, “Bitches, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just trying to find one thing about this that doesn’t suck and I’ve got nothing.
Guy: Me either.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so annoying to be forced to be so close to so many people in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is really annoying, especially when you are forced to hear someone else’s conversation.
Guy: Whoa! What timing.
–L train
