Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Subway stations, platforms, etc.’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Dim­mer Than a Flint­stones Night Light

Gay guy to friend: I may be gay but I’m not stu­pid.

–The Flame Din­er, 58th St & 9th Ave

Woman to man: But they were on­ly stop­ping the dum­b­ass­es… That’s why they stopped your dumb ass.

–W 66th St & Am­s­ter­dam Ave

Over­heard by: Su­san Vol­chok

(Blonde is hav­ing trou­ble hail­ing cab dur­ing rush hour)
Gyp­sy cab dri­ver in town car: No one will take you cuz you’re stu­pid!

–116th & Broad­way

20-some­thing guy to girl: It’s eleven and it will take you till one to get home, then I’ll call you and tell you how stu­pid you are.

–4th St Sub­way Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Glad I’m not dat­ing him

Girl: Alex­is, we’ve been over this. You’re stu­pid.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Cros­by

Bim­bette, yelling in­to cell: Yo! Look who you’re talk­ing to–I’m not ex­act­ly the smartest per­son in the world!

–Am­s­ter­dam Ave

Over­heard by: dumb as a rock

Next Stop: Put in Your Place Street

Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more peo­ple can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surf­ing.
Girl #1: It just sucks be­ing squeezed in like this. Es­pe­cial­ly when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are go­ing to do.
Girl #1: –and peo­ple won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t un­der­stand that you have to get off. This time I’m go­ing to be like, “Bitch­es, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just try­ing to find one thing about this that does­n’t suck and I’ve got noth­ing.
Guy: Me ei­ther.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so an­noy­ing to be forced to be so close to so many peo­ple in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is re­al­ly an­noy­ing, es­pe­cial­ly when you are forced to hear some­one else’s con­ver­sa­tion.
Guy: Whoa! What tim­ing.

–L train

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Feel a Lot Bet­ter Now

Guy to friends: A girl fart­ed on my head once, and I dat­ed her for three years.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: MC

Woman to friend: And then he fart­ed in my mouth.

–Ding Dong Lounge

Over­heard by: Ros­alind

Hobo, fart­ing loud­ly, turn­ing at girl walk­ing be­hind him: That’s for you, you fuck­ing bitch!

–Yel­low Line Sub­way Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Craigalanche

Lati­na on cell, firm­ly: I’m not bi-cu­ri­ous, I’m just fart-cu­ri­ous

–49th & 5th

Over­heard by: ol­ga

Crazy hobo: Once, I was eat­ing Crack­er Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I fin­ished the box, I fart­ed in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week lat­er, I got the sur­prise of my life!

–1 Train

Over­heard by: nel­la

Help­ful­ness: A NYC Short Sto­ry

Loud, gar­bled an­nounce­ment about dis­rupt­ed rush hour ser­vice in back­ground.

Up­tight la­dy suit, smil­ing anx­ious­ly: What? What did she say?
Hip­ster: She said, ‘Gr­ble chzmglpt blgshqt skzd­bkt…’ [Con­tin­ues, ac­cu­rate­ly mim­ic­k­ing en­tire gar­bled announcement.]Uptight la­dy suit, dis­turbed: Oh.

–IRT Sta­tion, 110th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Christo­pher Stone