Archive for the ‘Talking/Convos’ Category

How Vanilla Ice Cream Becomes a Chocolate Milkshake

Man: This is no good. It’s sour. I want one that’s fresh.
Employee: I put ice cream and milk.
Man: I don’t care what you put in it. Maybe it’s the milk, maybe it’s the ice cream. You taste it, or bring out a manager to taste it, either way I want one that’s fresh.
Employee: You come tomorrow. Speak with manager. Change with him.
Man: So what am I supposed to do? Stick this in my ass until tomorrow?

–Baskin-Robbins, Bensonhurst

Overheard by: Jenn Milazzo

She Was Quite Modest about It, Too

Teenybopper #1: Ugh… I hate those overly-proud Hispanics!
Teenybopper #2: They drive me insane! They’re like, ‘Oh my god, Papi, 100 percent Boricua! Holla at me!’
Teenybopper #1: Why can’t they speak good English?
Hispanic woman: I believe you mean to say, ‘Why can’t they speak English well?’
Teen boy: Owned!

–L train

Overheard by: Laughing to myself

Check Your Attitude While You’re At It

Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true.

–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street

Yet Another Drawback of Abstinence-Only Education

White guy to girl: You know both these guys are Muslim, so don’t piss them off. Muslims don’t care if they die because then they’ll get 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: It’s not 72 virgins, it’s 45 virgins.
Muslim #2: I thought it was 40 virgins.
White guy: But a Muslim person told me that it was 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: What are you gonna do with 72 virgins, man?
White guy: The same thing you’re gonna do with 45 virgins, but I would get tired of telling them what to do.

–MetroTech, Lawrence St

Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan

It Would Probably Start to Grate

Girl #1: My husband had such a hair across his ass last night. He was getting on my last nerve.
Girl #2: “Hair across his ass”? What do you mean?
Girl #1: You’ve never heard that phrase before? “Hair across his ass”?
Girl #2: No, I haven’t. I don’t get it.
Girl #1: Well Jen, tell me, would you be happy if you had a hair going across your ass?

–Gray’s Papaya, 8th Avenue