Teen boy: No, really, she scares me.
Teen girl: Is that why you tell people you are gay?
Teen boy: What? No!
Teen girl: Are you gay?
Teen boy: I just don’t want to have a girlfriend.
Teen girl: What if she only wanted to have sex?
Teen boy: I am a good person. I have morals.
Teen girl: What if she had bigger boobs?
–R train
Teen girl #1: Whoa, are those apples really all in perfect rows?
Teen girl #2: Whole Foods has really out-yuppied itself this time.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Teen girl #1, about nearby Shoot the Freak booth: So, what is it — some kind of set-up or something? Like, it’s not a real freak, right?
Teen girl #2: No, it’s a real guy. Want to go see?
Teen girl #1: No! I’m a Quaker!
–Coney Island
Club dude: May I ask you why you’re licking your handstamp?
Drunk teen guy: I wasn’t. They stamped me twice, and I had something in my tongue.
–The Knitting Factory, Leonard Street
Teen boy: You know, some guys think it’s cute when a girl farts.
Teen girl: That’s only until they smell it.
–1 train
Overheard by: anna
Headline by: jay
Runners-Up:
· “Dr. Strangelove or How I learned not to worry and love the bomb.” – Pavel
· “Find skidmarks in her panties and you’ve found a keeper” – Girls don’t do #2
· “Smells like teen sphincter” – Leon
· “Then they just get jealous.” – Peacock
Straight guy in hot pink underwear: Yeah, I've fallen asleep in deer stands, and all kinds of weird places.
–Gold's Gym, 54th St
Overheard by: Johnny V
Girl on cell: His hair is wiry and weird. He had a party and sold raffle tickets, the winner got to restyle his hair. He's weird.
–1 Train
Overheard by: whirlygirlie518
White teen girl to friends: No, no, no! I told you guys, if I marry a Japanese, then there's all that weird sex stuff. I'm marrying Korean. They're adorable, and don't have that weird communism thing the Chinese do.
–Chinatown
Girl from Nashville on cell: They serve like weird pasta here with weird vegetables and weird meat. My favorite meal here is breakfast. I am so ready to go home!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: D-Law
Hispanic teen #1: Oh my God girl! You’re such a fucking bitch!
Hispanic teen #2: Pshaa… Nigga please, I got like 300 friends on MySpace and you only got like 100, bitch.
Hispanic teen #1: At least I didn’t sleep with all my 300 friends.
Hispanic teen #2: You are so off my top 14.
Hispanic teen #1: You aren’t even on mine, so I dont give a shit.
Hispanic teen #2: Bitch
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bryan
Teen #1: That's nasty, dude, she had strep throat last week. If you made out with her, you're totally gonna get strep throat.
Teen #2: Oh, fuck…can somebody get strep dick?
–N Train
Overheard by: -bill
Teen boy #1: It's like a totally different part of the body.
Teen boy #2: Can you imagine if vaginas had brains?
–Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Judgmental Dog Walker
HS boy #1: How do you spell “toll”?
HS girl: T-O-L-L.
HS boy #2: Like “pay a toll”?
HS boy #1: Like “take a toll on a nigga.”
–F train
Overheard by: Miss B