Archive for the ‘Terms of Endearment’ Category

… and the Wed­ding Is on Sat­ur­day

Dart­mouth boy: This girl I used to work with wore too much eye­lin­er — She was from the Mid­west, she has a smile on­ly a horse could love, skips around with lots of boyfriends, threw a birth­day par­ty for her dog — you get the pic­ture. So she’s an ug­ly Mid­west­ern girl who works at Gold­man Sachs in the Mu­ni De­part­ment, it’s not even re­al bank­ing…

–Union Ave & Sc­holes, Williams­burg

Over­heard by: Co­lum­bia Girl Who Can’t Stop Laugh­ing

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Un­in­cor­po­rat­ed Ter­ri­to­ry

Woman: Come here, sweet­heart! You lousy fuck­ing Puer­to Ri­can scum!

–4th & Mac­Dou­gal

Con­struc­tion work­er to an­oth­er: Come here, I’ll buy you some food ’cause you’re my man. What, you want Puer­to Ri­can food? They’ve got Puer­to Ri­can food here.

–Burg­er King, 46th St, be­tween 5th & 6th Ave

Over­heard by: Dun­can Pflaster

Suit: Have you ever been to Croa­t­ia? They treat­ed me like a god just for be­ing Puer­to Ri­can.

–M31 bus, be­tween Madi­son & Lex

Dude: Nawww, don’t go to Puer­to Ri­co. It’s just like New Jer­sey!

–Out­side Caliente Cab Co.

De­pends on the Face

Barfly: It was a term of en­dear­ment.

Bounc­er: A term of en­dear­ment is not punch­ing some­one in the face.

–2x4, 2nd Ave & 4th St

Over­heard by: Cait O’­Con­nor (and Fo­ley)

Head­line by: Dave Bar­nette

Run­ners-Up:

· “And As­sault Is­n’t A Spice, Ei­ther” — Kathy

· “Aww, you just feel left out.” — Alaine

· “He Said He Want­ed An­oth­er Hit” — Play­tah

· “He’s play­ing hard to get” — Jeri Rosen­blum

· “C’­mon, it’s not like she was preg­nant…” — lau­ra c

· “It does­n’t count if you don’t leave a mark.” — Scott

· “Wel­come to New York” — shorty

· “An­oth­er dropout from the school of hard knocks” — jm

· “Barflies Mate Every 48 Hours” — red

· “No, That’s a Term of Three To Ten” — Boy­howdy

· “Dad has a lot of ex­plain­ing to do” — Mr. Un­cre­ative

· “For en­dear­ment, you tend to go for the groin” — ruth

· “Tyler Dur­den: The Fi­nal Years” — Mr. No­body

· “Punch­line” — Robert Katz

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