Archive for the ‘The Met’ Category

What Hap­pens When You Use the TV As a Babysit­ter: A Sim­u­la­tion

Skin­ny girl: I’m sor­ry you have to go through this.
Sob­bing girl: I just…I just hope he’s go­ing to… be okay.
Skin­ny girl: Do you think that maybe you want to go and com­pose your­self in the of­fice?
Sob­bing girl: I was just… there. And I would… but the can­dy… sucks.
Skin­ny girl: I’ll… I’ll give you my last Men­tos.
Sob­bing girl: The Fresh­mak­er?

–The Met

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Ride a Ves­pa

Hip­ster on cell: I’m not even buy­ing any­thing. I’m just here to be seen.

–Trad­er Joe’s

Hip­ster boy: I loves me some mas­ter race!

–Lob­by, the Met

Over­heard by: Shay­na

Tip­sy hip­ster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!

–W 4th & Christo­pher St

Hip­ster guy: I think the most tru­ly good per­son who’s ever been on this earth was Gand­hi. Or maybe Mar­tin Luther King, Ju­nior… But he was black.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Ghan­di was In­di­an..

Drunk chick: What kind of hip­sters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just be­cause she wants to wear a Sailor Moon cos­tume?

–St. Mark’s Pl

All Cou­ples Even­tu­al­ly Be­come Les­bian Cou­ples, Any­way

Girl #1: Man, I am so ex­cit­ed to just move.
Boy: When you move in with me, can we get a Chia pet?
Girl #2: Oh, girl, watch out. You get a Chia pet and it’s a slip­pery slope. Next thing you know, you and Cliff will be wear­ing cat sweat­shirts and writ­ing fan fic­tion.
Boy: That’s gonna hap­pen in se­cret.
Girl #1: What­ev­er, bitch, we’re gonna grow herbs.

–The Met

Plus, He’s Six Months Old

Girl #1: Would Nick like this?
Girl #2: What, walk­ing here? In this place?
Girl #1: I’m ask­ing.
Girl #2: No way. Nick just would­n’t get this.
Girl #1: How do you mean?
Girl #2: Nick would­n’t get this. For Nick if it does­n’t, like, have boo­bies every 90 sec­onds, he just switch­es off.
Girl #1: Right.

–The Met

Over­heard by: Cliff

“Cre­ative” Is a Eu­phemism for “Ig­no­rant”

Over­ly talk­a­tive man, af­ter see­ing “trans­par­ent mon­u­ment” ex­hib­it: I saw a white cloud and a gray cloud but I did­n’t see no black cloud…If I was Na­tive Amer­i­can I would see a red cloud!
Man’s Asian girl­friend: Or a pur­ple one!
Over­ly talk­a­tive man: What?!

–El­e­va­tor, The Met

Over­heard by: liselle boyette

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Need to Be Con­soled

Tech guy: It would suck to be a cow, then you could­n’t play Street Fight­er.

–Mary­mount Man­hat­tan Col­lege

Blond girl, re­gard­ing Egypt­ian ar­ti­facts: This is just like a video game!

–The Met

Over­heard by: Rachael and Ben

Mind­less dude play­ing PSP: Damn! Why is this bitch call­ing me? (an­swers cell) What do you want, you made me stop my game! (pause) My game as in “my video game,” psh! (pause) Shit, if I had any game I would­n’t be with a bitch that looks like you, now what do you want?

–A Train

Over­heard by: to­ken white chick

Ghet­to kids, as 95-year-old Chi­nese la­dy walks in­to mov­ing traf­fic: Damn, she think she play­ing Frog­ger!

–Chi­na­town

Friend to friend: I won­der how Su­per Mario Bros will in­flu­ence my de­ci­sion?

–Hous­ton St & Broad­way

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Go Through a Grey Pe­ri­od

Girl look­ing at garbage and dirt spilled on the side­walk: Gross. You think it’s sup­posed to be art?

–Broad­way & Hous­ton

Lit­er­a­ture pro­fes­sor: So any­thing that any­body ever paint­ed was a Gui­do?

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Plau­si­bly mad sep­tu­a­ge­nar­i­an clerk: When I was 16 Stravin­sky bought my first paint­ing. It was writ­ten up in the pa­per. A cou­ple of days lat­er, I was kid­napped.

–Barnes & No­ble, Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Seth

Fa­ther to four-year-old son: Look­ing at art makes your legs tired.

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um Lob­by

Philis­tine: I don’t like art in which you have to un­der­stand the mo­ti­va­tion be­hind it.

–Out­side the Guggen­heim

Over­heard by: De­vot­ed Pup­py

Pro­fes­sor-type man to group of teens look­ing at Greek sculp­tures: And if the sculp­ture’s back is up against the wall and you want to see it from be­hind, just get up against a wall and look at its ass as much as you can… yeah! It’s not dirty or wrong… Just look at its ass!

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um of Art