Fratboy: They’re going to tear that building down, because it’s seriously decrapitated. I mean, just totally decrapitated.
–BAM Cinematek
Girl on cell: He’s going to hell and I don’t even care. He’s going to die and I’m fine with it.
–Houston & 1st Ave.
Guy: My mom was going through menopause, and I could totally relate.
–Lafayette & 3rd St.
Overheard by: Tedd
Girl: If I made a sex doll that smelled like elk, he would totally do it!
–Queens
Middle-aged Latino: I’ve got barbie dolls!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Newspaper vendor: Cause I have that multiple sneezing thing! I hate that crap! I’m like a bobble-head doll!
–96th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Galatea
Girl leaving nail salon: It looks like Malibu Barbie just threw up all over my feet.
–11th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Bill
Despondent little girl in coffee shop: Um, I don’t play with the doll house that much because you said we’re not supposed to play in the meditation room.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Girl: I’m, like, the token one. I’m the only lesbo there!
–West 4th and 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jamie
Hair stylist: So what kind of band is your boyfriend in?
Magenta-dyed customer: He says it’s Emo, but it sounds like the soundtrack to Spring Awakening.
–Supercuts, 6th Ave & Waverly
Overheard by: Jeffrey
Teen girl #1: I’m thinking about buying more clothes!
Teen girl #2: Clothes! Lets go shopping!
Teen girl #1: I know! Dad’s money is the best!
–2nd Ave & 12st St
Overheard by: James
African American emo guy to friends: I don’t know if this is derogatory or not, but I was thinking of inventing pussy in a can. For those droughts, ya know?
–Lafayette St & W 4th
Dude with clipboard to couple passing by: Excuse me, you two! Sign this! It’s your independent right as an American.
Guy: No, thanks. I hate rights.
Chick: Yeah, just being told what to do rocks.
Guy: Conforming is sweet.
–Bleecker St
Latina: People are always saying I look Asian. Do you see it?
Asian guy: Well, you know, Mexicans look a lot like Asians.
White girl: Yeah, they have those same narrow eyes.
Asian guy: And they’re short.
–Amy’s Bread, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!
–Metropolitan & Humboldt
Overheard by: dani d
Man: You got the prettiest laugh I’ve ever heard!
Pretty girl: Aw…
Man: If you pee on me, I’ll let you laugh a lot more!
Pretty girl: Oh. I was going to say that was the sweetest catcall I’ve ever heard, but then…
–Mulberry & Spring
Overheard by: has that ever worked for you?
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
