Archive for the ‘The Village’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Ain't Got the Money, Honey

Older man, to no one in particular: That's why I keep my income low, so no one jumps me.

–Myrtle & Clinton, Brooklyn

Woman with scratch-off lotto card to friend: I won four dollars! I won four dollars! You know I can't spend that, though. I gotta get food for my kids. Those niggas be hungry!

–Staten Island Ferry

Angelic-looking teen girl screaming into cell: Are you coming to the movies with me? You're broke? Just mug someone on the way. Mug someone! (pause) Mug! M-u-g! Rhymes with "thug"!

–Chambers & West St

Puerto Rican dude on cell: I ain't got no money. I got weed, but I ain't got no money.

–25th St & 7th Ave

Village lady: She was in foreclosure before it was fashionable to be in foreclosure.

–Bleecker & Mercer

Wednesday One-Liners Ride a Vespa

Hipster on cell: I’m not even buying anything. I’m just here to be seen.

–Trader Joe’s

Hipster boy: I loves me some master race!

–Lobby, the Met

Overheard by: Shayna

Tipsy hipster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!

–W 4th & Christopher St

Hipster guy: I think the most truly good person who’s ever been on this earth was Gandhi. Or maybe Martin Luther King, Junior… But he was black.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Ghandi was Indian..

Drunk chick: What kind of hipsters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just because she wants to wear a Sailor Moon costume?

–St. Mark’s Pl