Archive for the ‘The Village’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Looked Better in the Previews

Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!

–Lower West Side

Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!

–13th St & University

Overheard by: Jaimie

Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."

–City Cinemas, E 86th St

Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?

–NYU

Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this

Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.

–Columbus Circle

Is It Sick That I Wednesday on Their One-Liners?

Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired.

–4th & Lafayette

Overheard by: andy

Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really?

–Times Square

Man: The thing is: my safety word is "No, harder, harder."

–NY Comic Con

Girl: No, seriously, my parents used to have like a harness and a leash for me, because I used to run away in the airport all the time.

–Fordham Law School

Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Will

Guy: Great. She doesn't even know me and already she thinks I have a produce fetish.

–Whole Foods, Chelsea

Overheard by: Hunter (aka,

That Sounds Like It’s About Wight

Teen guy #1: Well, I’m French.
Teen girl: I’m German.
Teen guy #2: Well, I’m from Spain so I guess we’re all from Europe.
Teen guy #1: Spain isn’t in Europe.
Teen girl: Dude, yes it is. Europe is like its own continent.
Teen guy #1: I was talking about Europe the country, not that little
island with England on it.

–McDonalds, St. Marks & 3rd

Overheard by: Katherine Gnadinger

Sure, Lisa, Some Magical Wednesday One-Liner….

Dude with chick to group of smokers outside bar: We are going to eat pork chops and fuck.

–Bleecker and Crosby

Gay male on cell: …Do you really think I would try his sausage balls?

–53rd St & 8th Ave

Budget Vin Diesel: I love bacon. If I could, I would put bacon in my cereal.

–Sunburnt Cow, Avenue C

Overheard by: LeahPia77

Hispanic deli worker: Es muy barato, como la carne de gato.

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: Anna Pilar

Black man, to Jewish friend: You’re not Jewish. You had bacon at your baby’s naming ceremony. Thickest, juiciest most delicious bacon I ever ate in my life. You named your kid Samuel and you had bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon.

–A Train

Man on cell phone: The sausages! I mean, I don’t feel bad for the hot dogs. But, the sausages?!

–41st and 7th

Overheard by: Justin

Deleted Scene from Mission: Impossible III

Hot Asian chick: Yeah, so I kept asking my boyfriend about how he had his ex finger his ass, and he got so pissy at me.
Gay black dude: Hmmph. He probably doesn’t want to admit he wants it up the booty all the time.
Hot Asian chick: He said he pretended that he liked it when she she’d butt play him. I don’t buy that shit.
Gay black dude: Honey, real men don’t pretend. Run!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: henry