12-year-old girl: Did you hear what I said about really famous people?
Uninterested mother: No.
12-year-old girl: Well, this will be my first time seeing a really famous person, not just a famous person. Because Full House was important to everyone!
–Mills Theater, before Performance of Bye Bye Birdie
Hipster #1: What’s up with her? Is she a Lesbian?
Hipster #2: Well, she is Canadian.
–The Mountain Goats Show, Europa, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Becca
Lady #1: Unlike our daughter, she got lucky.
Lady #2: How so?
Lady #1: Our daughter had to pay to go to college. She got a scholarship because her father died.
–Jacobs Theatre, W. 45th Street
[Just before the curtain rises on the opera Carmen.]Guy: Do you know the show?
Girl: Uh-uh.
Guy: It’s sooo sad. Like Rent.
Girl: Oooh. Wow.
–The Met
Woman on cell: And when my brother got near him, his poop came out. That’s how scared he was.
–107th & Broadway
Woman on cell: So yeah, they are really scary, like if you walk in the house they will bark really loud, and that’s totally worse than them biting you.
–Majestic Theater
Girl on cell: I went in for genetic counseling and I found out things that scared me.
–10th Ave & 39th St
Overheard by: Todd Fletcher
Girl on cell: No, you can’t go! I’m too stoned and too scared. Just stay on the phone with me, please.
–Supermarket, Astoria
Conductor: Never fear! The phantom of the train is here!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Alex
Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.
–PATH Train
Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, “What, like Gary Coleman?” and I’m like, “No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!”
–4th & 10th
Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It’s totally fine.
–E 11th St
Overheard by: j
Suit on cell: And I was like, “Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera”!
–Bedford & 6th St
Black girl on cell: I told you, we’re like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.
–Borders, Wall St
Overheard by: step
Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can’t put this on MySpace. I’m wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!
–Outside Barrymore Theatre
Overheard by: Pasta…Salad
Comedy club promoter: Hey, you guys want free beers and some laughs?
Teen tourists’ chaperone: They’re underage.
Comedy club promoter: How about free sodas and a few giggles?
–Outside Hilton Theatre
Overheard by: Amused Teenage Tourist
Lady: Oh my god, I’ve heard this song before!
Patron: It’s all ABBA music, jackass.
–Mamma Mia, Winter Garden Theatre
Overheard by: Todd
Mom: Honey, what’s the matter?
Girl: Am I going to turn green for being a bad girl too?
Mom: Honey, I was just kidding about that!
–Gershwin Theater
Overheard by: Rogue
Woman: How do we know where it is?
Man: That guy said it’s at the end of the street.
Woman: Yeah, well, where does the street end?
–Outside of St James Theatre
Overheard by: howdumbareyou
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
