Archive for the ‘Theater’ Category

Not in the Face, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: You keep talking over me – it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.

–Ray’s Pizza, 52 & 8th

Overheard by: Jarett

Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as “that guy” and we’ll see how long you stay conscious.

–33rd & 7th

Nervous man seated against the wall: I don’t like this seat. I don’t like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there’s a fight? I don’t want to be trapped in a place with a fight.

–Off-Broadway Theatre

Overheard by: Hannah

Ghetto chick: Can’t you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?

–W Train

Overheard by: sara n.

Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.

–The Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…

Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?

–Chambers St

Overheard by: Shooty

Wednesday One-Liners Like to Watch

Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: “Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!” But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control.

–Barnard College

Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that.

–Cort Theater

Overheard by: office peon

Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old.

–Bryant Park

Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: “Fuck this, I’m done.”

–Outside an Irish Pub, 54th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: jon

Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show.

–51st St & 8th Ave

She Had a Featured Solo in Backside Story

Man, during intermission of Chicago: Did you see the chorus girl with the long auburn hair?
Woman: Yeah?
Man: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her in porn on the internet.
Woman, annoyed: Well, when we get home maybe you can find out for sure.
Man: I’m not saying she can’t sing!

–Ambassador Theatre, W 49th

Overheard by: Big Larry