Archive for the ‘Threats’ Category

Lois Com­mutes be­tween Ado­ra­tion and Homi­ci­dal Rage

Black woman, to eight-year-old white girl: I love the white peo­ple. You are so cute. I would babysit you. Come here.
White woman: Yes, give the lit­tle white girl a hug.
Black woman, to girl: If any­one fucks with you, I’m gonna be fuck­ing with them.

–47th & 8th

Over­heard by: alx­ie

Mor­lock v. Eloi: The Pre­quel

A thugged out girl tests all of her ring tones as loud as pos­si­ble for a sol­id minute.

Prep­py girl: Are you se­ri­ous with that? Can you do every­one a fa­vor and stop?
Thug girl: I know you’re not talk­ing to me. You messed with the wrong girl.
Prep­py girl: I’m sor­ry, I can’t hear you. Your scream­ing phone made me deaf.
Thug girl: I’ll f her up. But then she’ll call the cops; her peo­ple love the cops. Go back to where you came from!
Prep­py girl: I’m try­ing to. That’s why I’m on the train, you stu­pid bitch. Look, you got a new cell phone and that’s great, but fig­ure it out at home.
Thug girl: I’ll f you up. You’re f‑ing with the wrong girl. Don’t be fooled by the pret­ty face.
Prep­py girl: Pret­ty face? Where?

–N train

Over­heard by: Mat­ty M.

Where They Make Us Take a Re­fresh­er Course on Eth­nic Stereo­types Bian­nu­al­ly

Mus­cu­lar mook with sweet trib­al tat­too, dri­ving Toy­ota Tun­dra, yelling on cell: Some­one stole my fuck­ing knap­sack! It had my fuck­ing Mer­ril­l’s. My Sper­ry’s. If I see some­one wear­ing Sper­ry’s, I will fuck­ing crush them.
Tajik­istani cab dri­ver: That is the bad kind of Ital­ian. I should know, I live in Bay Ridge.

–53rd & 9th Ave

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Re­mem­ber elim­i­DATE Fond­ly

Man on cell: Yeah man, she is so not any­one that I would be will­ing to in­vest years in… I mean I don’t want to have to spend my time ac­tu­al­ly work­ing on it. I fig­ured, hell, I kind of want to wake up next to some­one a cou­ple of days a week, so I might as well hang on through the sum­mer. No, she has no idea…

–Colum­bus & 62nd St

Grad stu­dent: They have this sym­bi­ot­ic re­la­tion­ship in which he does all the eat­ing and she does all the drink­ing.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Woman to her­self: God, I asked you for a good man; not a fuck­ing joke!

–Spring & Hud­son

Over­heard by: Os­car Gam­ble

Fire­fight­er to oth­ers: It’s not that I have any­thing against com­mit­ment; I just like di­ver­si­ty.

–125th St Fair­way

Over­heard by: Just Shop­pint

Man in shorts to an­oth­er: I would­n’t date a girl with dou­ble vi­sion, pe­ri­od.

–Williams­burg

Over­heard by: Dr No-Eyes

Busi­ness­woman to hobo: If you get back in the dat­ing scene, I’ll kill you.

–Hous­ton & Lafayette

Over­heard by: Home­less guy must be hung

What Is Art? Are We Art? Are Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Art?

Old­er gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you did­n’t need to have pas­sion or tal­ent to be an artist; you just need­ed to have a van, be­cause no one else was go­ing to haul your shit­ty art around.

–7th Ave & 14th St

Over­heard by: Miss C

Girl read­ing sign at Frank Lloyd Wright mu­se­um: Oh… He was an ar­chi­tect!

–Guggen­heim Mu­se­um

Over­heard by: An­tar­tic

Mom to lit­tle girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you’ll turn in­to a stat­ue.

–Mo­MA

Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she did­n’t think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I’ll go to a fuck­ing mu­se­um if I fuck­ing want to. I’ll look at some paint­ings and shit.

–Down­town Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Mark McLaugh­lin

12-year-old boy, look­ing at Pi­cas­so paint­ings: This is to­tal­ly my thing, man, it’s like free porn.

–Mo­MA