Archive for the ‘Three is Company’ Category

I’m Putting You Down As a “No”

Guy #1: Yo, could you ever dou­ble team a girl?
Guy #2: Yes. Don’t care if there’s a naked dude right next to me, I’d rail the bitch with him. Eif­fel Tow­er that shit.
Guy #3: Fuck that. I’d feel mad weird be­ing naked next to an­oth­er naked guy, just bang­ing some girl… Maybe I could do it if I had my clothes on. Like, I could just fuck her through the fly. That way it would­n’t be weird.

–East Vil­lage

Over­heard by: Hi­ro­mi

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers En­joy Team Sports

20-some­thing guy on Black­Ber­ry: No, he’s not gay. I was in a five­some with him, but he’s not gay.

–L Train

Girl to gay friend af­ter walk­ing in­to gay bar: Dude, ei­ther find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.

–NYC

Girl to guy friends: I mean, he’s okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!

–8th St & 5th Ave

An­gry woman on phone: While you’re out hav­ing or­gies I am do­ing the re­al work!

–Vic­to­ri­an Flat­bush

Pre­ten­tious pro­fes­sor type in aca­d­e­m­ic tone: My ex had un­re­al­is­tic fan­tasies. She used to dream about be­ing fucked by God and Sa­tan and the same time. How could I live up to that?

–NYU

She’s the Cob, and They’re the Corn­hold­ers

Girl: There’s a Du­ane Reade.
Guy #1: What do we need a Du­ane Reade for?
Girl: If we’re gonna do this, you guys both have to be wear­ing con­doms.

–84th & Broad­way

Suit #1: But what hap­pens if our cocks ac­ci­den­tal­ly touch?
Suit #2: Well…we’re both adults, we’ll just have to deal with it.

–52nd & Lex­ing­ton

How Was Your Hol­i­day, New York?

Guy: Did you hook up with any­one on New Year’s?
Girl: Yeah, and he’s like a prince of some coun­try.
Guy: Heh, that’s cool I guess. Did he take you to his palace?
Girl: No, but that would’ve been cool. I’ve al­ways want­ed to touch a prince’s pe­nis.

–6 train

Chick: So, I fig­ured we’d ring in the new year with a three-way.

–34th & Park

Chick: There are 3 things I hate about the hol­i­days. One, peo­ple who be­come ass­holes for no rea­son. Two, peo­ple who be­come more emo­tion­al for no rea­son. And three, peo­ple who are both of the above.

–86th & 2nd

Over­heard by: Gwenn Levine

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Fail the Pu­ri­ty Test

Girl: I’m done with three­somes. Some­one al­ways gets hurt. It’s four-gies on­ly from now on.

–Du­ane Reade, 32nd & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Jaina Wald

Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!

–Wall & Wa­ter

Over­heard by: Aubrie

Man: Hey, any­one want to go to an or­gy?

–Cen­tral Park

Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need con­doms?

–Phar­ma­cy, 82nd & Colum­bus

Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like any­one there had any re­al porn back­ground!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Na­tal­ie

Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.

–22nd & Broad­way

Loud fe­male suit: Well, at least he was­n’t sleep­ing with an in­tern!

–45th & Lex

Prep­py girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got my­self two tick­ets for us to go to the Do­mini­can Re­pub­lic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Do­mini­can cock. Yum!

–34th St

Over­heard by: naid­aba­by