Tall thug to another: Yo,… I love jail food!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Never had it
Dad to overly excited daughter: Yes, you can tell your mom you went in the bouncy castle in front of the prison.
–Atlantic & Smith
Screaming four-year-old to mom: Are you going to put me in jail?
–Q Train
Young mother to baby, pinching his cheeks: Daddy's in prison! Prisonprisonprisonprisonprison!
–Jackson Heights, Queens
Overheard by: Giving up all hope Newsbunny
Girl to friend: I told him you had fucking mad STDs because he said he wanted to fuck you. (pause) You're welcome!
–Washington Square Park
Suit exiting cab: Yo, make sure you don't give him your number. He's got crabs.
–30th Ave & 30th St, Astoria
Overheard by: OhKellyO
Blonde 20-something on phone: Either the universe just proved there is no god, or he is a motherfucking cunt! (pauses, then in low tone) Because… I think I have herpes.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: close enough to hear the herpes part
Thug to thugette: I didn't have warts on my body till I met you.
–Metro North
Overheard by: baconista
Guy on cell, leaning casually against fire hydrant: Hey, so, I just got my test results back, and… uh… so I got herpes. So… maybe you should get yourself tested. (pause) No, no, no. No. No! Dammit, Jessica, listen, I… fuck. Sorry, Jennifer. No, I–no, I'm sorry, I've just been making this call a lot today. (pause) Hello?
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kytt
Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!
–Lower West Side
Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!
–13th St & University
Overheard by: Jaimie
Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."
–City Cinemas, E 86th St
Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?
–NYU
Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this
Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.
–Columbus Circle
Thug #1: Man, it’s Spiderman!
Thug #2: Ask him if he real.
Thug #3: If he’s real, why he be in front of Toys “R” Us, nigga?
Thug #2: I dunno — maybe he don’t got a movie to be in right now.
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
White thug: Yeah, so she's knocked up.
White thug #2: Look on the bright side, nigga, at least the Giants won.
White thug #3: Damn, yo, NYU isn't even a real college.
–Mercer & Waverly Place
Eight-year-old thuglet: Yo, the 14-year-old one was hot. I liked her.
Friend: Yo, cuz’, you can’t get no 14-year-old girl. Forget it!
Eight-year-old thuglet: Please! I could and I have!
Friend: 14? That hot?
Eight-year-old thuglet: Try 15. And hotter.
–F train
Overheard by: freckles
Mama thug: Don't stand by the doors. Sit down! You're gonna fall, and I'ma laugh at you. And you want me to laugh at you?
Baby thug: No.
–2 Train
Thug #1: Your mom is a lady, bro.
Thug #2: I don’t want to hear no more of this shit. Go fuck her in the ass. Go fuck her in the ear. I don’t want to hear it.
Thug #1: No, dawg. She a WOMAN.
Thug #2: Fuck you, I said stoppit.
Thug #1: I know you smart. I know you smart. But she is a lady.
–61st and CPW
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Thug #1: Back in the day, abortions used to cost $200, can you believe that shit? Good thing that changed, or my ass would be broke.
Thug #2: Yeah me too.
Thug #3: Word.
–Downtown 5 train
Overheard by: Angie
Thug #1: Yo, let’s have sex!
Thug #2: Nah, bro, chill with that.
–Coney Island Ave & Beverley Rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: djingo