Guy #1: He’s not down with it.
Guy #2: What do you mean, he’s not down with it?
Guy #1: Don’t worry, he’s going to be down with it.
Guy #2: How’s he going to be down with it?
Guy #1: We’ll make him down with it.
–Ave. A
Archive for the ‘Thugs’ Category
At Least She’s Reading
Ghetto chick: Excuse me! Excuse me! What’s the name of the towers that got knocked down?
Incredulous passerby: Umm … The World Trade Center.
Ghetto chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it wasn’t none of that twin towers. You thinking of Lord of the Rings.
–Vesey St
Holy Crap, Someone Please Tape That Call
Thug kid: When are you having that damn baby?
Preggers: I was due last week and I want a C‑section but the doctor said we shouldn’t do it yet.
Thug kid: I’ma call that doctor tomorrow and tell him to take that nigga out.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Anthony Amico
Try “Doggies for Druggies,” Sir
Young thug to ASPCA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
ASPCA rep: Yes, she is up for adoption, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that’s cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
ASPCA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain’t gonna beat her.
–Union Square, ASPCA Day
Overheard by: Somebody should beat him.
That’s the Nicest Thing You’ve Ever Said to Me!
Latino thug #1: It was so awkward–he couldn’t hit the high notes.
Latino thug #2: That kid wore the same blue tee for a whole year!
Latino thug #3: Your shirt looks like a Christmas wrapping.
–F Train
Overheard by: Katface
Because the Temptations Are Too Great
A buppie is parking his BMW, blasting a ’50s rock ‘n roll tune out the window.
Thug: Why a nigga wanna be listenin’ to that shit?
–Brooklyn Heights
It’s Called the “Down Low” for a Reason
Thug #1: Yo, let’s have sex!
Thug #2: Nah, bro, chill with that.
–Coney Island Ave & Beverley Rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: djingo
Lick This and Tell Me It’s Not Delicious
Thug #1: What is that?
Thug #2 with safe-sex gift bag: One of them dental dams.
Thug #3: What’s it taste like?
Thug #2, licking it: Mmm.
Thug #3 takes it, licks it: Mmm.
Thug #1: I swear, I need to leave you in the ghetto. Damn, can’t even take you niggas out to eat!
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Can’t help you there
Santa Finally Goes Legit
Asian kid: Why did you decide to start driving now?
Middle-aged thug: I drive trucks. Now it’s just time to tell the government.
–DMV, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
The United One-Liners Of Wednesday
Female suit on cell: And if we get custody, we can take the girls to North Carolina! Fuck it! Yeah, we can!
–37th St & Madison
Overheard by: catching a train
Little boy: Mommy, is California really far? Would we have to take the f train to get there?
–N Train
Crazy-eyed lady on subway: The public schools failed my son! He flunked out, and now he’s getting all As in private school! We need to stop putting money into Georgia and put money into our schools! You know what else we need to do? We need to drill in Alaska, because if we don’t, Russia’s going to get a pipeline in there and take it all!
–Uptown R Train
Overheard by: Anna P.
20-something woman: I think he’s just going to club me…and drag me back to Alaska.
–Bleecker & 11th
Overheard by: Imma club you
Father to five-year-old daughter touching signposts and cars: You can rub anything you want in Connecticut, honey, but we have to be careful in New York.
–Union Square
Thugette: Ohio was mad crazy. Hillbillies be fucking chillin’ on the block. Ain’t no one had teeth! No one! You ever seen one of those movies where some white guy goes fucking crazy and kills, like, ten people? Like he’s walking down the street and just stabs a cat in the neck? It was like that.
–V Train
