Tourist guy: Where are you from?
Female waitress: Sri Lanka.
Tourist guy: Oh, I've always wanted to go to India.
Female waitress: Did you really just say that?
–Times Square Bakery
Overheard by: trey
Archive for the ‘Times Square’ Category
Define “Career”
Promoter guy: Hey, see a comedy show! Is your relationship in trouble? Humor will help
Girl: No, thanks.
Promoter guy: Your relationship’s in trouble.
Girl: Yeah, like your career.
–42nd & 7th
If He’s in Rehab, He’s Clearly Gay
Woman #1: Oh! This guy is so hot.
Woman #2: He’s a druggie.
Woman #1: He’s so hot. Oh God. I can’t even stand it!
Woman #2: Maybe you’ll meet him in rehab.
–MTV Studios, Times Square
Wednesday One-liners Engage in Carnality
Woman: Actually, now that I think about it, I guess I’ve had sex in both of the Sheratons. –53rd & 7th Overheard by: Erich Pelletier
Why Women Wear Bras.
You Had Me and Then You Lost Me
Guy #1: He looked like a taller, more imposing Mikhail Gorbachev
Guy #2: Yeah, sans blotch.
–Times Square
Overheard by: TP
Wednesday One-Liner Ink
Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart. –Bleecker St Overheard by: Lyssa Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back. –Prince & Lafayette Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo? –D Train Overheard by: 4-dumb Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither. –Times Square Overheard by: Jas
Damn, It Felt Good to Get That Off My Chest
Big black man: It’s ok, I’m not a gangsta!
Nerdy white kid: Neither am I!
–Times Square
…Going in and Out Of the White House All Night Long
Guy selling Obama condoms: Yes, you can… get laid! Don't do the big apple without protection. Obama condoms, get them here!
Frumpy Southern tourist lady: Oh my god! They are actually condoms. That is my President's face. It does not belong on a condom.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sam
Kitten: Does Anybody Care That I’m Part Siamese?
Small boy: Mom, I found a kitten!
Mother: Name him Cletus.
Small boy: Cletus, you my only nigga.
–Nokia Theatre