Archive for the ‘Tourism’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Aren’t a Tourist At­trac­tion, Ass­holes

Chick to friend, stand­ing silent­ly for sev­er­al min­utes: You know, there re­al­ly is­n’t that much to see here.

–Ground Ze­ro

Woman on cell: What about the Christ­mas cards with the twin tow­ers sur­round­ed by flow­ers? … Yeah. Kin­da grim, huh?

–Barnes & No­ble, Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Karyn Re­gal

Wannabe-hard­core bim­bette: So, this is where it all went down, huh? Where the shit hit the fan…

–PATH sta­tion, WTC

Over­heard by: Wes­T­exMike

Tourist man to MTA la­dy: I want to go to that World Trade Cen­ter thing.

–14th St sta­tion

Tourist: Is this nine-eleven?

–Ground Ze­ro

Over­heard by: du­plic­i­ty

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers May Leave a Bad Taste in Your Mouth

Bland mid­dle-aged woman: It’s not like you’re giv­ing head in the Port Au­thor­i­ty bath­room!

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: j

Eng­lish tourist: You’ll go home and peo­ple will ask: “So what did you do on hol­i­day?” You’ll re­ply: “Oh, I gave the Em­pire State Build­ing a blowjob!”

–34th St

Guy on cell: Ugh, fuck me in the ass. No… no, not you. Meanie. Why don’t you just suck my dick. Suck my dick!

–34th Street

Dude on cell: It was like get­ting a blowjob from the in­side.

–8th Ave & 53rd St

Guy on cell: Is that the guy that’s been suck­ing your dick?

–81st & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Kel­ley

Young guy on cell: And then I said: “I could re­al­ly use a blowjob right now.” She was of­fend­ed!

–48th & Park

Young black man to friend: Just be­cause she sucks my dick does­n’t make her Oprah Win­frey.

–B48 Bus