Tourist #1: Where are we going? Do you know where we’re going?
Tourist #2: Oh, yeah. I recognize this. We’re going north. We’re definitely going north.
Tourist #1: Oh, yeah, you’re right.
Nearby New Yorker: I hate this place. They’re all crazy.
–Crossing Broadway & 42nd St
NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here’s Grand Central!
–Broadway & Waverly
Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn’t sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don’t even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?
–1 Train
Overheard by: amalthya
Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don’t understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don’t know where that is!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy on cell: I don’t get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you’re not going to go see Stonehenge?
–Costco, Brooklyn
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?
–85th & 1st
Overheard by: Special K
Suit: That’s why I can’t help but love New York. New York is like the sick uncle that touches you when no ones around.
–Grand Central Terminal
Girl, after passing a tourist bumping into her: In New York we say “excuse me!”
–Macy’s, Herald Square
Overheard by: The City Planner
Guy to friend: Are we in the inner city or just the city?
–1st Ave & 6th St
Dude walking out of Penn station: You know what’s great about going out in New York City? You can get completely bombed and it’s no big deal, because you’ll probably never see those people again, you know?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BPV
Aussie: The key to this city is to use words like “shitter.”
–96th & Columbus Ave
Tourist: Does this train stop at Cortland Street?
Nun: Yes, it does.
Guy: No, it doesn’t. The station is closed.
Nun: I’ve been riding this train over 20 years. It stops at Cortland Street.
Guy, as train passes Cortland Street station: Lady, you may know Jesus, but I know the subways.
–1 train
New Yorker: So, having a romantic evening in New York?
Tourist: Yeah… I went sex toy shopping last night.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: laughing awkwardly
Teenage boy in Boston Celtics jacket: Ewww, this is Jackson Heights?
Father: Yeah, I guess so.
Bored tween girl: Can we go back to the hotel, puh-lease?
Mom: Not yet. I want to find where Ugly Betty lives.
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Jellobelle
Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they’re strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there’s gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.
–42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Matt
Older tourist woman to NBC tour guide: So, we are going to see the rock at the top?
Guide: It’s called “the top of the rock.“
Woman: Well, that doesn’t make any sense?
–30 Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Michael
Tourist #1: I wanna see the ball that drops in Times Square!
Tourist #2: Wait… that thing actually exists?
–Broadway b/w 43rd & 44th
Overheard by: Ben
13-year-old brunette to tourists: Argh! Move!
13-year-old redhead: These people need to learn the ethics of jaywalking.
–Times Square
Overheard by: emma
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
