Tourist #1: I can’t wait to leave New York.
Tourist #2: It’s not for claustrophobes.
–Times Square
Archive for the ‘Tourism’ Category
…on This Block?
Female tourist: Oh, look! American Apparel!
Friend: Is that the only one?
–5th & 19th
Overheard by: nate
In Little Italy, There’s a Layer of Earwax
Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they’re strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there’s gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.
–42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Matt
The Chrysler Just Got That Much More Beautiful
Tourist guy: What’s that building over there?
Tourist chick: That’s the Empire State Building, silly.
Tourist guy: Oh…yeah.
–Empire State Building observation deck
Overheard by: Nicholas West
The Houston Rockets — Tallest Kickline in the City
Tourist woman looking at Radio City Music Hall: That’s where the Rockets are.
20-ish son: Who are the ‘Rockets’?
–50th & 6th
And the Sphinx Was Their Internet Cafe?
Man: …and then we visited the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.
Woman: The Great Pyramid is where the people had their apartments, right?
–The Village
Overheard by: Ava
This Leopard-Print Fannypack Is Just Style
Flyer guy: Want to see a comedy show? It’s hilarious!
(passers-by ignore him)
Flyer guy: Okay, good talk.
Hipster girl: (giggles)
Flyer guy: Oh! You like laughing, want to see a comedy show?
Hipster girl: No. I’m not a fucking tourist, leave me alone.
–Times Square
Overheard by: not a tourist
Solve Their Riddle, and They Will Provide a Sherpa to Take You the Rest Of the Way
Tourist kid to random guy: Do you know where St. Mark’s is?
Random guy: You see that spinny cube?
Tourist kid: Yeah.
Random guy: And do you see that clump of punk rock Midwesterners?
Tourist kid: No.
Random guy: Well, you’re gonna.
–Astor Place
Wednesday, with a One-Liner Chaser
Female day-drinking tourist: Oh shit, I left my vodka in the church!
–Outside Trinity Church
Man on cell: If it’s possible to ferment it, we have fermented it.
–7th St b/w 2nd & 3rd Ave
Middle-aged man to younger man: You know how cats and dogs–they eat and then they go? In one end and out the other. I’m like that. My bladder has room for the equivalent of one good cocktail.
–10th Ave and W 50th St
Overheard by: Ah.…middle age
Commuter at 8 am: Beer. Beer.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: baconista
Old drunk walking into a liquor store, to clerk: Have you got my prescription?
–Broadway & 106th St
Overheard by: rickbruner
Go Back to Connecticut!
WASP Lady: The train service was really nice. Not at all like the subway.
–Midtown comics
