Tourist woman looking at Radio City Music Hall: That’s where the Rockets are.
20-ish son: Who are the ‘Rockets’?
–50th & 6th
Archive for the ‘Tourism’ Category
And the Sphinx Was Their Internet Cafe?
Man: …and then we visited the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.
Woman: The Great Pyramid is where the people had their apartments, right?
–The Village
Overheard by: Ava
This Leopard-Print Fannypack Is Just Style
Flyer guy: Want to see a comedy show? It’s hilarious!
(passers-by ignore him)
Flyer guy: Okay, good talk.
Hipster girl: (giggles)
Flyer guy: Oh! You like laughing, want to see a comedy show?
Hipster girl: No. I’m not a fucking tourist, leave me alone.
–Times Square
Overheard by: not a tourist
Solve Their Riddle, and They Will Provide a Sherpa to Take You the Rest Of the Way
Tourist kid to random guy: Do you know where St. Mark’s is?
Random guy: You see that spinny cube?
Tourist kid: Yeah.
Random guy: And do you see that clump of punk rock Midwesterners?
Tourist kid: No.
Random guy: Well, you’re gonna.
–Astor Place
Wednesday, with a One-Liner Chaser
Female day-drinking tourist: Oh shit, I left my vodka in the church!
–Outside Trinity Church
Man on cell: If it’s possible to ferment it, we have fermented it.
–7th St b/w 2nd & 3rd Ave
Middle-aged man to younger man: You know how cats and dogs–they eat and then they go? In one end and out the other. I’m like that. My bladder has room for the equivalent of one good cocktail.
–10th Ave and W 50th St
Overheard by: Ah.…middle age
Commuter at 8 am: Beer. Beer.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: baconista
Old drunk walking into a liquor store, to clerk: Have you got my prescription?
–Broadway & 106th St
Overheard by: rickbruner
Go Back to Connecticut!
WASP Lady: The train service was really nice. Not at all like the subway.
–Midtown comics
What’s the World Coming to When You Can’t Even Bride a Cop for a Celebrity’s Address?
20-something dude: I don’t get why a tourist would spend their whole day trying to spot an actor.
Friend: Yeah.
20-something dude: I guess I could see myself going to some real hot actresses’ usual spots.
Man: You mean like stalking?
20-something dude: Hah! This guy knows what I’m talking about.
Man: I’m a cop.
20-something dude: Oh. So you actually know what I’m talking about. Don’t worry, officer, I only intend on stalking Natalie Portman.
Cop: You wanna go for a ride?
20-something dude: Like around in your car?
Cop: To the station.
20-something dude: I’ll shut up.
Cop: Thatta boy.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: InDCandMissingBK
Remember the Good Old Days Of Junkies and Whores?
Tourist #1: Where are we going? Do you know where we’re going?
Tourist #2: Oh, yeah. I recognize this. We’re going north. We’re definitely going north.
Tourist #1: Oh, yeah, you’re right.
Nearby New Yorker: I hate this place. They’re all crazy.
–Crossing Broadway & 42nd St
Wheresday One-Liners
NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here’s Grand Central!
–Broadway & Waverly
Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn’t sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don’t even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?
–1 Train
Overheard by: amalthya
Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don’t understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don’t know where that is!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy on cell: I don’t get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you’re not going to go see Stonehenge?
–Costco, Brooklyn
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?
–85th & 1st
Overheard by: Special K
Wednesday One-Liners Want to Be a Part Of It
Suit: That’s why I can’t help but love New York. New York is like the sick uncle that touches you when no ones around.
–Grand Central Terminal
Girl, after passing a tourist bumping into her: In New York we say “excuse me!”
–Macy’s, Herald Square
Overheard by: The City Planner
Guy to friend: Are we in the inner city or just the city?
–1st Ave & 6th St
Dude walking out of Penn station: You know what’s great about going out in New York City? You can get completely bombed and it’s no big deal, because you’ll probably never see those people again, you know?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BPV
Aussie: The key to this city is to use words like “shitter.”
–96th & Columbus Ave
