New Yorker: So, having a romantic evening in New York?
Tourist: Yeah… I went sex toy shopping last night.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: laughing awkwardly
Archive for the ‘Tourism’ Category
Just When People Had Stopped Looking for Carrie Bradshaw’s House…
Teenage boy in Boston Celtics jacket: Ewww, this is Jackson Heights?
Father: Yeah, I guess so.
Bored tween girl: Can we go back to the hotel, puh-lease?
Mom: Not yet. I want to find where Ugly Betty lives.
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Jellobelle
In Little Italy, There’s a Layer of Earwax
Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they’re strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there’s gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.
–42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Matt
Says the Woman Who Chooses to Live in Omaha?
Older tourist woman to NBC tour guide: So, we are going to see the rock at the top?
Guide: It’s called “the top of the rock.“
Woman: Well, that doesn’t make any sense?
–30 Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Michael
Most Americans Have Given Up Believing Their Eyes and Ears
Tourist #1: I wanna see the ball that drops in Times Square!
Tourist #2: Wait… that thing actually exists?
–Broadway b/w 43rd & 44th
Overheard by: Ben
Reader Poll: Should Meth Be Required for Tourists?
13-year-old brunette to tourists: Argh! Move!
13-year-old redhead: These people need to learn the ethics of jaywalking.
–Times Square
Overheard by: emma
Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t a Tourist Attraction, Assholes
Chick to friend, standing silently for several minutes: You know, there really isn’t that much to see here.
–Ground Zero
Woman on cell: What about the Christmas cards with the twin towers surrounded by flowers? … Yeah. Kinda grim, huh?
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Karyn Regal
Wannabe-hardcore bimbette: So, this is where it all went down, huh? Where the shit hit the fan…
–PATH station, WTC
Overheard by: WesTexMike
Tourist man to MTA lady: I want to go to that World Trade Center thing.
–14th St station
Tourist: Is this nine-eleven?
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: duplicity
Wait ‘Til You Get Lost in Tokyo, Smart Guy
Asian tourist with map out, blocking walking crowd: Excuse me, I’m looking for Houston street…
Suit, with high-pitched sarcasm: Really? [He keeps walking.]
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: a
Wednesday One-Liners May Leave a Bad Taste in Your Mouth
Bland middle-aged woman: It’s not like you’re giving head in the Port Authority bathroom!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: j
English tourist: You’ll go home and people will ask: “So what did you do on holiday?” You’ll reply: “Oh, I gave the Empire State Building a blowjob!”
–34th St
Guy on cell: Ugh, fuck me in the ass. No… no, not you. Meanie. Why don’t you just suck my dick. Suck my dick!
–34th Street
Dude on cell: It was like getting a blowjob from the inside.
–8th Ave & 53rd St
Guy on cell: Is that the guy that’s been sucking your dick?
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Kelley
Young guy on cell: And then I said: “I could really use a blowjob right now.” She was offended!
–48th & Park
Young black man to friend: Just because she sucks my dick doesn’t make her Oprah Winfrey.
–B48 Bus
And Be Eaten by Hippies from Minnesota
Fire truck loudspeaker to tourists blocking entrance: Please clear the area unless you want to end up as roadkill.
–WTC Site, Liberty Street
