Toddler boy: I don’t need to go anymore.
Dad: I just waited in line for ten minutes. You better fart or something.
–Public bathroom, Coney Island
Overheard by: Ronnie Saha
Archive for the ‘Tourist Attractions’ Category
Hitler: She’s Right, I Had to Laugh
Chick referring to The Producers: Yeah, it made fun of Hitler, but it was in, like, a positive way.
–St. James Theater, 44th & Broadway
Wednesday One-liners Should Stay on the Bus
Woman looking at statue: Did Columbus even make it to Manhattan?
–Columbus Circle
Tourist guy: Lots of people, smells really bad… It’s just like I always imagined.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lauren
Don’t Even Try Getting All Decimally on a Twelve-Month Year
Girl #1: … And his little brother, who was like 0.6 years old…
Girl #2: Wait. 0.6 years?
Girl #1: Yeah, you know, like half a year.
Girl #2: God, you are so idiotic!
–Statue of Liberty
…With a Faint Tinge of White Castle
Pretty girl #1 in parking lot of zoo: Yep, it smells like zoo here.
Pretty girl #2: Well, I just farted.
Pretty girl #1, walking a few feet: Nope, still smells like zoo.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Ashley and Daria
You Need a Schtick to Walk
Tourist lady: Excuse me, can I get to the New York Public library on this bus?
Man: Yes.
Tourist lady: About how far is it?
Man: It’s a ten minute walk or a twenty minute bus ride.
–42nd & 8th
Wednesday One-liners for Adoptionists
Crazy woman: I’m still alive and breathing, thank you very much, despite the best efforts of the Devil.
–Food Court, Grand Central
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Al-Qaeda: Hmmm…
Mother to son, as he exits camel ride: Were you scared?
Son: The part that was scariest was the germs.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: mully
Frank Lloyd Wright Is Spinning in His Ugly-Ass Grave
Guy #1: What’s that? A parking garage?
Guy #2 [alarmed]: That’s the Guggenheim!
–Across the street from the Guggenheim
Overheard by: Mary T Helmes Sheely
Nature or Nurture, NYC Edition
Girl: Mum, I can’t get through.
Mum: Honey, I’ve told you before, you have to push and shove past the people otherwise you’ll never get through.
–Rockefeller Center