Archive for the ‘Trannies’ Category

Are You Read­ing Off… an In­dex Card?

Dude: Hey, good to see you, what’s new?
Goth tran­ny: Oh, not much. In a new band, we’re look­ing for a bassist, we have a show on Sat­ur­day, my apart­ment sucks, Joe quit, been try­ing to lose weight, I need a hair­cut, it’s my birth­day next week, and I’ve been play­ing World of War­craft. What about you?

–Hal­loween Ad­ven­ture, 11th & 4th Ave

Over­heard by: Kate Melvin

I Was Born a Wednes­day, but I Iden­ti­fy With One-Lin­ers

Guy to girl­friend and friend: God­dammit, nei­ther one of you is a gay man trapped in a wom­an’s body.

–8th & 9th

Over­heard by: crack­ing up

Girl on cell: Are all she-males gay? Cause if they’re in­to women, sign me up.

–As­tor Place

Teen on cell: Dudes have, like, purs­es here…

–110th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Al-mas­ter

Guy to friend: She’s not a tran­ny, but she’s, y’­know: tran‑y.

–Grand St & Bed­ford Ave

Over­heard by: KateM

Man on cell: You and I are both com­plex women. It’s more com­pli­cat­ed than that.

–21st St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Ben

You Put That in Your Wednes­day One-Lin­er?

Woman, to friend: he was so ex­cit­ed, I thought his butt plug was go­ing to shoot out of his ass.

–Spring Street and 6th St

Over­heard by: Sarah O.

Dude in fur coat and con­struc­tion boots: My mom asked me if I had a ra­zor in my butt…

–Down­town ‘1’ Train

Hus­band to wife:
I can’t be­lieve you just put your fin­ger up my butt hole!

–Grand Cen­tral Ter­mi­nal

Over­heard by: boni­fa­cia

Trans­ves­tite pros­ti­tute: I just got off my sec­ond and last date tonight… Man paid me 4 bills to stick my fin­gers in his booty.

–Meat-pack­ing Dis­trict

Over­heard by: Erin

Guy on cell: you have to get drunk enough not to puke, but enough to take the piece of glass in­to your ass!

–Bleek­er & Bar­row

Over­heard by: ivy270

Guy on cell phone pass­ing by: nor­mal­ly when you say that, my ass­hole starts puck­er­ing!

–Union Square

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Work­ing on a Per­fume Line

Flus­tered suit pac­ing along street: Just let­ting you know I got a FedEx from Bruce Willis, I guess he fi­nal­ly de­cid­ed to pay his bills.

–84th St

Over­heard by: mikaela

Man to din­ner com­pan­ion: So did you know Mia Far­row is do­ing a hunger strike? Be­cause of what’s hap­pen­ing in Dar­fur? I hope she dies.

–Red Bam­boo, West Vil­lage

Trans­ves­tite: Damn, that girl looks like Brooke Shields. Damn, that white girl in the blue shoes looks like Brooke Shields.

–4 Train

Man giv­ing out Metro news­pa­per: Metro! Metro! Whoooeee, ba­by, you look­ing like Jen­nifer Lopez! Metro!

–7 Train

Suit on cell: If he does it again I am go­ing to get all Chuck Wool­ery on his ass!

–Gold St

Drunk, Or Still Emerg­ing from the Anes­the­sia?

Con­duc­tor: May I see your tick­et, please?
Drunk tran­ny: I al­ready showed my tick­et.
Con­duc­tor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tran­ny: What the fuck? I al­ready showed my damn tick­et.
Con­duc­tor: OK, calm down. Just show me your tick­et, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tran­ny: You are prob­a­bly a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the dis­re­spect I get. I am fuck­ing chang­ing cars.

–Long Beach bound LIRR

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Still Can’t Get Over Joey Pick­ing Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chi­nese ca­ble be­cause it was cheap­er than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve al­ready seen, I don’t need to ac­tu­al­ly know what they’re say­ing.

–N train, As­to­ria

Queer, on cell: Have you seen Vic­to­ri­a’s boyfriend late­ly? He looks great. She’s bet­ter than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

–Eck­erd, As­to­ria

Moth­er, to kids: Sor­ry we just missed the fire­works, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.

–79th St en­trance, FDR

Tourist, af­ter ea­ger­ly strug­gling for cam­era air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it on­ly airs to­day.

–Tap­ing of the To­day Show, Rock­e­feller Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Stephen and Al­li­son

Girl: Well, to­day they had a woman who was born a man who mar­ried a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Mau­ry Povich!

–New York Pub­lic Li­brary

Over­heard by: Ac­tu­al­ly READ­ING at the Li­brary

Guy: Sweet Six­teen? That show makes me un­der­stand ter­ror­ism.

–114th & Broad­way