Archive for the ‘Trannies’ Category

The Rocky Horror Wednesday One-Liner Show

Old lady to grad student son: Hmmm, I never thought of it before, but pre-op transsexuals are like ABDs!

–98th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kobayashi

Hipster: This is New York! You’d think I could have a sex change and everyone would be okay with it!

–3rd & Lex

Overheard by: West Coast Courtney

Guy: So, let me get this straight — she was a fine-ass chick that looked like a dude that wasn’t a fine-ass chick, because she looked like a dude?

–Court St & Atlantic Ave

20-ish chick: I can’t believe how selfish she is. I mean, why wouldn’t she share her tranny?

–Brooklyn Burger Bar

Fat Italian guy in velvet running suit: Everybody fucks… We all fuck… But did she have to fuck a guy with tits?!

–Little Italy

Overheard by: Frank C.

Man: You’re right — I thought I was the only one that thought that the skinny little woman from Sex and the City and Jennifer Aniston look like trannies.

–Chambers St & W Broadway

Overheard by: sonny

Female student: Who would have expected that they would play the ‘Your dead brother is actually a woman’ card?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Matthew

Are You Reading Off… an Index Card?

Dude: Hey, good to see you, what’s new?
Goth tranny: Oh, not much. In a new band, we’re looking for a bassist, we have a show on Saturday, my apartment sucks, Joe quit, been trying to lose weight, I need a haircut, it’s my birthday next week, and I’ve been playing World of Warcraft. What about you?

–Halloween Adventure, 11th & 4th Ave

Overheard by: Kate Melvin

I Was Born a Wednesday, but I Identify With One-Liners

Guy to girlfriend and friend: Goddammit, neither one of you is a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.

–8th & 9th

Overheard by: cracking up

Girl on cell: Are all she-males gay? Cause if they’re into women, sign me up.

–Astor Place

Teen on cell: Dudes have, like, purses here…

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Al-master

Guy to friend: She’s not a tranny, but she’s, y’know: tran‑y.

–Grand St & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: KateM

Man on cell: You and I are both complex women. It’s more complicated than that.

–21st St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Ben

You Put That in Your Wednesday One-Liner?

Woman, to friend: he was so excited, I thought his butt plug was going to shoot out of his ass.

–Spring Street and 6th St

Overheard by: Sarah O.

Dude in fur coat and construction boots: My mom asked me if I had a razor in my butt…

–Downtown ‘1’ Train

Husband to wife:
I can’t believe you just put your finger up my butt hole!

–Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: bonifacia

Transvestite prostitute: I just got off my second and last date tonight… Man paid me 4 bills to stick my fingers in his booty.

–Meat-packing District

Overheard by: Erin

Guy on cell: you have to get drunk enough not to puke, but enough to take the piece of glass into your ass!

–Bleeker & Barrow

Overheard by: ivy270

Guy on cell phone passing by: normally when you say that, my asshole starts puckering!

–Union Square

Wednesday One-Liners Are Working on a Perfume Line

Flustered suit pacing along street: Just letting you know I got a FedEx from Bruce Willis, I guess he finally decided to pay his bills.

–84th St

Overheard by: mikaela

Man to dinner companion: So did you know Mia Farrow is doing a hunger strike? Because of what’s happening in Darfur? I hope she dies.

–Red Bamboo, West Village

Transvestite: Damn, that girl looks like Brooke Shields. Damn, that white girl in the blue shoes looks like Brooke Shields.

–4 Train

Man giving out Metro newspaper: Metro! Metro! Whoooeee, baby, you looking like Jennifer Lopez! Metro!

–7 Train

Suit on cell: If he does it again I am going to get all Chuck Woolery on his ass!

–Gold St