Young woman: Are you going to preschool?
Four-year-old girl: No. I’m going to the moon.
–McDonald’s
Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category
How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Eugenics
Bimbo #1: I just want to move to another state, you know?
Bimbo #2: Yeah, like further south?
Bimbo #1: No, probably Australia.
Bimbo #2: Oh my God, me too! My cousin owns this train station, we could totally go!
Bimbo #1: Nah. I have a date tonight.
Headline by: johnny pissoff
Runners-Up:
· “All Aboard the Pangea Express” — Stitches
· “And Australia’s like, “WTF mate?”” — one L
· “Ashley crushes yet another of Jessica’s plans.” — Heidi
· “Besides, i dont speak german…” — senny
· “Crikey! Thank God the Stingrays Got Me Before They Arrived.” — Katie
· “Going Down, But Not Under” — sigh
· “It’s good to see Condy getting out more” — mp
· “Wait, You Have a Date? That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” — 08kjl
Hope Her Charger Has a Really Long Cord
Hippy girl: So yeah, we are gonna be living in this yurt for a year without electricity or running water or anything. It’s all about getting back to our roots and stuff.
Guy: No electricity or anything? What if you have to call someone or something?
Hippy girl: I’ll just use my cell phone.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Kelly Ernst
Si El Avion Se Choca Contra Un Tempano
Man #1: See, there’s the exit, and it says Salida. What the hell’s that?
Man #2: I think it’s Spanish for salad.
Man #1: Why the fuck write that on there?
–JetBlue plane, JFK
Overheard by: beth devlin
And the Sphinx Was Their Internet Cafe?
Man: …and then we visited the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.
Woman: The Great Pyramid is where the people had their apartments, right?
–The Village
Overheard by: Ava
Yeah, I Love Trenton in the Springtime
Chick #1: I can’t wait to hang out next semester!
Chick #2: Oh, I won’t be here.
Chick #1: Where are you going?
Chick #2: Dude, I’ll be in Paris for spring semester.
Chick #1: What? Who from Jersey goes to Paris?
Chick #2: Hello, Liz from Jersey.
Chick #1: Dude, you’re gonna miss Jersey so much!
Chick #2: I know.
Chick #1: Yeah, Paris is so lame. You so shouldn’t go.
–Columbia University
Seriously, No One Says “Spawned”
American man: So you’re a tourist from Great Britain?
British man: Yes, I am.
American man: Where did you learn to speak English?
British man: We spawned the language, you know.
American man: No… that was the English.
–Statue of Liberty crown
Did You Get All Your Immunizations First?
Girl #1: Yeah, but you were too far away this weekend.
Girl #2: I was in Queens!
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: MTina
He Spent the Whole Month High at Malibu Grand Prix
Black dude: Word, son. It didn’t rain the whole time I was in California. No rain for a whole month. There was sun and clouds — you would love it. The roads are crazy — driving there is mad good, yo. They’re all big and you can speed and the cops won’t pull you over because there is so much other illegal– well they got all those illegal aliens, the eses and pisanos.
Friend: Word?
Black dude: But they don’t have stop signs. Like, you know, in New York they got those big red stop signs, but in California it’s all written on the floor.
–Q Train
Night Train, Thunderbird and Wednesday One-Liners
Crazy hobo with guitar to stranger: Damn… you invited a lot of people.
–1 Train
Hobo to young married couple: I have found the promised land. Seriously. I’d get a plane ticket right now, but it’d be cheaper to go to confession for a week and then get hit by a bus. Remind me to tell you about this later.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Oliver
Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-something girl walks past him, with businessman a few steps behind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…
–W 3rd & Thompson
Hobo, taking donations to help the homeless, counting coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fistful of coins sticks in pocket) Tax rebate!
–Union Square
