Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category

And the Forty?

TSA em­ploy­ee to peo­ple in line: All liq­uids and gels are pro­hib­it­ed be­yond this point. Dis­pose of them now.
Four-year-old boy to fa­ther: Aw, man! Does that mean I have to get rid of my pimp juice?

–La­Guardia

Wheres­day One-Lin­ers

NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here’s Grand Cen­tral!

–Broad­way & Wa­ver­ly

Guy on Side­kick to an­oth­er: I was­n’t sure if he was talk­ing about Buf­fa­lo or Bal­ti­more! I mean, I don’t even know where Buf­fa­lo is! Is it a state?

–1 Train

Over­heard by: amalthya

Ditzy girl sob­bing on cell: You don’t un­der­stand! They told me I was sup­posed to go to Penn Sta­tion but I just don’t know where that is!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: queenof­s­cots

Guy on cell: I don’t get it–why go all the way to Ire­land if you’re not go­ing to go see Stone­henge?

–Cost­co, Brook­lyn

Girl­friend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?

–85th & 1st

Over­heard by: Spe­cial K

Which Is My De­fault An­swer for All Is­sues In­volv­ing Men

50-some­thing woman to cowork­er at Burg­er King: And he said, “Why you al­ways com­ing in here, dressed up like you’re at the beach? What is that?” And I was like, “Yeah, please, put me on a re­al beach, in like Do­mini­can Re­pub­lic or some­thing.“
Cowork­er: He prob­a­bly just want­ed to see you in your biki­ni.

–La­Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: … But I know I would­n’t

One Life to Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Five-year-old boy to fa­ther: Is this an im­por­tant life les­son?

–14th & 6th

Over­heard by: A

Young Asian man to woman ig­nor­ing him: Hey, let’s go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here of­ten?

–Union Square

Over­heard by: ser­e­na

Woman, throw­ing Mc­Nuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: El­liot

Fran­tic crazy guy: I’m gonna go have a seat in Star­bucks and get my life to­geth­er!

–6th Ave & 25th St

Over­heard by: tbomb

Suit on phone: Well that’s life, you screw peo­ple over and then you go to the Ba­hamas.

–Train in­to Penn Sta­tion

Next Stop: Put in Your Place Street

Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more peo­ple can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surf­ing.
Girl #1: It just sucks be­ing squeezed in like this. Es­pe­cial­ly when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are go­ing to do.
Girl #1: –and peo­ple won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t un­der­stand that you have to get off. This time I’m go­ing to be like, “Bitch­es, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just try­ing to find one thing about this that does­n’t suck and I’ve got noth­ing.
Guy: Me ei­ther.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so an­noy­ing to be forced to be so close to so many peo­ple in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is re­al­ly an­noy­ing, es­pe­cial­ly when you are forced to hear some­one else’s con­ver­sa­tion.
Guy: Whoa! What tim­ing.

–L train