Archive for the ‘Trees and plants’ Category

All Cou­ples Even­tu­al­ly Be­come Les­bian Cou­ples, Any­way

Girl #1: Man, I am so ex­cit­ed to just move.
Boy: When you move in with me, can we get a Chia pet?
Girl #2: Oh, girl, watch out. You get a Chia pet and it’s a slip­pery slope. Next thing you know, you and Cliff will be wear­ing cat sweat­shirts and writ­ing fan fic­tion.
Boy: That’s gonna hap­pen in se­cret.
Girl #1: What­ev­er, bitch, we’re gonna grow herbs.

–The Met

God, I Love Church Re­treats

Guy #1: So how was your week­end? Did you go on the trip?
Guy #2: It was in­sane man, a re­al pa­gan fes­ti­val.
Guy #1: Re­al­ly?
Guy #2: Yeah, naked girls wor­ship­ing a gi­ant tree. To­tal­ly crazy.
Guy #1: Did you make a love con­nec­tion?
Guy #2: I ac­tu­al­ly made a few love con­nec­tions, if you know what I mean…

–Men’s Room, Hi­ro Ball­room

Over­heard by: Yeah, we know what you mean…

If This Con­ver­sa­tion Goes on for Much Longer, There Def­i­nite­ly Is­n’t a God.

Boy, af­ter watch­ing An In­con­ve­nient Truth: Do you be­lieve in god?
Girl: I be­lieve in moth­er na­ture.
Boy: You don’t be­lieve in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I be­lieve this is hap­pen­ing be­cause of na­ture.
Boy: But you be­lieve in her?
Girl: What?
Boy: Moth­er na­ture?
Girl: Moth­er na­ture is not like a per­son… It’s just a say­ing for na­ture.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or some­thing.

–Re­gal Cin­e­ma, Union Square

Over­heard by: Noe­man Sam­dani

Wednes­day: Soft As a Baby’s One-Lin­er

Drunk mid­dle aged man, grab­bing wife’s shoul­der: Watch this! Nine months from tonight! Count it, peo­ple! She’s go­ing to have a moth­er­fuck­ing ba­by! Nine months! Ni­i­i­i­i­ine months!

–E 9th St & Uni­ver­si­ty Place

Over­heard by: NYUTSOA2012

Tween to grand­moth­er: There’s this girl in my class at school who had a ba­by around Hal­loween, and she named it Starlight. It’s a ba­by girl.

–F Train

Over­heard by: of­fice pe­on

Hys­ter­i­cal teen: If I had nine months left to live I would have his ba­by!

–Gee Whiz, Tribeca

Train con­duc­tor: Stand clear of the clos­ing doors! Es­pe­cial­ly if you got a ba­by and a ba­by car­riage!

–Up­town 2 Train

At­trac­tive brunette: There were dead ba­bies in the tree. Like Christ­mas or­na­ments.

–96th & Broad­way