Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

It’s All Greek to Me

Busi­ness­guy: It’s a small world.
Busi­ness­chick: Es­pe­cial­ly in As­to­ria!
Busi­ness­guy: Ha, ha, ha!
Busi­ness­chick: Hee, hee.

–Mid­town of­fice

…But Not Re­al­ly

Girl: When I look back on my life, I’m not go­ing to think about trips I went on or re­la­tion­ships I had, I’ll be think­ing about tele­vi­sion pro­grams I watched.
Guy: That’s hor­ri­ble!
Girl: Well I was on­ly kid­ding!

–86th and Lex

Thank God the Wednes­day One-Lin­ers’ Strike Is Over

Chick on cell: We can’t let Blair and Tootie con­trol our lives!

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Poo­gins

Home­less crazy black guy to three scared white girls in their twen­ties: Time is crazy. Oh man, what time is “Des­per­ate House­wives” on?!

–10th Street & 3rd Ave

Large lati­no: Yo, it was so good last night, I mean I can’t be­lieve you missed it. It was the best episode I’ve seen yet, se­ri­ous­ly bro… Well the main thing that hap­pened was Hei­di tried to apol­o­gize to LC and she was all like: “I wan­na for­get you!” I was like: “Whaaaaaat? For re­al?” It was crazy, you got­ta catch it!

–Times Square Of­fice Build­ing

Over­heard by: SU­SAN

Red­head: The “Brady Bunch” world is a world with­out urges.

–Ve­niero’s, 11th St be­tween 1st & 2nd

Over­heard by: Ur­su­la & Winifred

Mus­cu­lar guy: He comes up to me talk­ing all this shit, say­ing that he’ll bring it. Bring what? He’s not gangs­ta like I am, he ain’t thug like me. Skin­ny moth­er­fuc­ka looks like a damn burnt-out Screech.

–On the Bus

Ful­some girl with bad dye job: I’m like: “I watch ‘Law and Or­der: SVU’, I’m not get­ting in your van.”

–15th be­tween 6th and 7th

Over­heard by: Dis­union­square

Aries Spears, in line for an Ash­lee Simp­son au­to­graph: I’m the black guy from MADtv! [Grabs a ran­dom girl’s cam­era and snaps a pic­ture of them to­geth­er and walks away.]

–Vir­gin Mo­bile Mega Store, Times Square

Ug­gs Are So Over

Old la­dy leav­ing The Tony Dan­za Show #1: Gra­zie!
Old la­dy leav­ing The Tony Dan­za Show #2: Why did­n’t you wear the right shoes?
Old la­dy leav­ing The Tony Dan­za Show #1: No, no, these are fine.
Old la­dy leav­ing The Tony Dan­za Show #2: Aaaah, blow me. They’re ter­ri­ble.

–66th be­tween Colum­bus & Cen­tral Park West

Over­heard by: Mo­joSaves

More Amer­i­cans Get Their Delu­sions from ABC News Than from any Oth­er Source

Woman: I used to be delu­sion­al.
Friend: What was hap­pen­ing, were you med­icat­ed?
Woman: Oh yes, I had to be se­vere­ly med­icat­ed. I thought I was go­ing to mar­ry Pe­ter Jen­nings.
Friend: Was it hard for you when he died?
Woman: Ac­tu­al­ly, I was self­ish­ly hap­py be­cause I did­n’t have to wor­ry about hav­ing delu­sions about him any­more.

–W 105th St & Am­s­ter­dam Ave