Archive for the ‘Union Square and East Village’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Have Cool Spiny Backs and Tiny Tiny Brains

Woman: That movie’s so stupid! They got King Kong and the dinosaurs fighting even though they are from different centuries.

–Mama’s Pizza, 106th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Kyle T

Teen girl: You know, I don’t think I even believe in dinosaurs.

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: Paul

But I Also Like Cleaning and Sucking Cock!

Hot southern girl #1: So, before I came up here my mom is like, "Be very careful around those northern boys, they think all southern girls just love to cook and fuck."
Hot southern girl #2: Oh my gosh, are you serious? They think that? That’s so messed up!
Hot southern girl #1: I know!
Hot southern girl #2: But I really do love to cook… And fuck.
Hot southern girl #1: I know… Me too.

–Union Square Cafe

Overheard by: Moving South

Wednesday One-Liners Feel a Lot Better Now

Guy to friends: A girl farted on my head once, and I dated her for three years.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: MC

Woman to friend: And then he farted in my mouth.

–Ding Dong Lounge

Overheard by: Rosalind

Hobo, farting loudly, turning at girl walking behind him: That's for you, you fucking bitch!

–Yellow Line Subway Station

Overheard by: Craigalanche

Latina on cell, firmly: I'm not bi-curious, I'm just fart-curious

–49th & 5th

Overheard by: olga

Crazy hobo: Once, I was eating Cracker Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I finished the box, I farted in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week later, I got the surprise of my life!

–1 Train

Overheard by: nella

Wednesday One-Liners? Kinky!

300-pound girl on phone: Girl, you showed your whole booty crack? I know, he's into that kinky downtown shit.

–14th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: bastardo

Loud upstate girl: I think…doin' any kinda research inta furries? You're in trouble.

–Hudson & Houston

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Hoochie: I mean, you gonna handcuff me, then handcuff me. But, you know, when I gotta go do my shit, I gotta go.

–1st St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: stephie

Curly-haired girl on cell: I've totally got a cold too! But I've also got bondage tape. And a cell phone activated vibrator.

–Ouidad salon

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Suit to another, while having lunch on bench: You put duct tape on her mouth and you do it from behind.

–Central Park

Guy at table: You know, she's a quality girl, even when I was in handcuffs, I could tell that she was a quality girl.

–Carnegie Deli

Overheard by: Spazz