Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Upper East Side’ Category

…But Not Re­al­ly

Girl: When I look back on my life, I’m not go­ing to think about trips I went on or re­la­tion­ships I had, I’ll be think­ing about tele­vi­sion pro­grams I watched.
Guy: That’s hor­ri­ble!
Girl: Well I was on­ly kid­ding!

–86th and Lex

How Much Is That Wednes­day One-Lin­er in the Win­dow?

Man eat­ing brunch to male friend: We both came out sev­en years ago. We are pup­py gay in dog years.

–Big Dad­dy’s Din­er

Over­heard by: Mor­gan

Very lov­ing mom talk­ing to daugh­ter about her son: Hey! He is not an an­i­mal, he is not a dog. Well, at least not to­day!

–Hel­l’s Kitchen

Out­raged woman to man: What? No! Do not put the dog in the fur­nace, Ted!

–Court Street

Chick with cig­a­rette, on cell: … Leath­ery fetish dog-masks, or just Hal­loween style dog-masks?

–Out­side Tagine, 40th & 9th

Over­heard by: La­dle

Philo­soph­i­cal suit: The on­ly rea­son I haven’t di­vorced my wife is be­cause of the dog.

–Up­per East Side

Still Tak­ing Ado­lessons

Bim­bette #1: I don’t want to grow up. The re­al world is scary.
Bim­bette #2: Yeah… Pu­ber­ty sucks.
Bim­bette #1: Um­mm, I don’t know about you, but I’m pret­ty sure pu­ber­ty is done when you’re, like, fif­teen. We’re 18 now…
Bim­bette #2: Oh. Well, maybe I’m a late bloomer.

–UES

Over­heard by: Al­lie

Scenes from the Strike

Suit: Where are you go­ing?
Guy: Why does it mat­ter to you? I nev­er got in some­one else’s cab be­fore.
Suit: How about an area: Mid­town, Down­town, West Side?
Guy: Maybe if you got in­to a cab on a down­town av­enue and not 2nd Av­enue, you would have your own cab.

–Cab, 75th & 2nd

Over­heard by: The front seat

News­Flash: New Jer­sey Builds Im­mi­gra­tion Wall

Yup­pie on cell cut­ting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cook­ies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yup­pie, in­to cell: I hate the fuck­ing East Side. Every­one thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t fig­ure out this fuck­ing line — all I want to do is buy some fuck­ing cook­ies… New Jer­sey is my des­tiny.

–Bak­ery, 70th & Lex

And I’m Still Smarter Than You. That’s Got­ta Burn

Hip 18-year-old daugh­ter: Mom, stop laugh­ing! I’m like the least fun­ny per­son I’ve ever met.
Mom, laugh­ing: No, you’re so fun­ny! You al­ways have been! It’s like you have an ex­tra chro­mo­some or some­thing. (walks in­to an apart­ment and clos­es door be­hind her be­fore her daugh­ter and her friend can fol­low).
Girl’s friend: So, you’re re­tard­ed. You have an ex­tra chro­mo­some. You’re fuck­ing re­tard­ed.

–87th & East End

Over­heard by: So­phie