Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny.
–Bakery, 70th & Lex
Hip 18-year-old daughter: Mom, stop laughing! I'm like the least funny person I've ever met.
Mom, laughing: No, you're so funny! You always have been! It's like you have an extra chromosome or something. (walks into an apartment and closes door behind her before her daughter and her friend can follow).
Girl's friend: So, you're retarded. You have an extra chromosome. You're fucking retarded.
–87th & East End
Overheard by: Sophie
Middle-aged rich woman: Do you want to have time to have dinner tonight, honey?
Middle-aged rich man: How the hell should I know? Call my assistant!
Middle-aged rich woman: The next time I call your assistant will be the day after I've just fucked him.
–72nd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: felix
10-year-old girl in school uniform: Ew! You mean you'd still go through with it?
10-year-old boy in school uniform: Yeah! At least she'd still have a vagina!
–Park Ave & 79th St
Old Park Ave husband: Now this is what the weather is supposed to be.
Old Park Ave wife: Yes. Not too hot, not below zero.
Old Park Ave husband: One of many reasons why Florida is a shit show.
–Park Ave & 61st St
Overheard by: JayHammy
Chick #1: It’s wearing off.
Chick #2: Oh my god, it looks so good though.
Chick #1: Yeah. Botox really works.
Chick #2: My mom doesn’t need that but she really needs a neck lift.
–Sarabeth’s (East), Madison Avenue
Older Jewish woman: And where are you from?
30-something woman: Arkansas.
Older Jewish woman: And are you Jewish?
30-something woman: No.
Older Jewish woman: You just confirmed my stereotype.
30-something woman: And you just confirmed mine.
–Temple Shaaray Tefila
Girl #1: He fine.
Girl #2: Who? Anakin?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Finer den Usher?
Girl #1: Nah, nobody finer den Usher.
–The Pavilion, Park Slope
Black guy: Yo, fuck the Jedi. It’s all about the Dark Side. I’m the other Dark Lord you’ve been looking for.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Joshua S.
Girl: Oh my god, all this time I thought I was a Buddhist, but I’m really a Sith.
–UA movie theater, Union Square
Overheard by: Lara Evangelista
Thin preppy girl to heavier stranger: Oh my god! I love your shoes.
Heavier stranger, looking her over: Girl, I wish I could give you a compliment, but you just look hungry.
–95th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Adriana
Chris Noth: I talked to her for 10 minutes and figured out she was crazy.
–15th & Irving
Overheard by: Ameha Beyene