Younger kid: Damn, look at all the puddles of water in here.
Older kid: Look like hurricane Katrina hit this bitch.
(younger kid laughs)
Older kid: Niggas from New Orleans swimmin in the water and shit.
–Macy’s Bathroom
Overheard by: Anon
Younger kid: Damn, look at all the puddles of water in here.
Older kid: Look like hurricane Katrina hit this bitch.
(younger kid laughs)
Older kid: Niggas from New Orleans swimmin in the water and shit.
–Macy’s Bathroom
Overheard by: Anon
Suit: It’s up in Connecticut, right over the river in Norwalk, I think.
Lady suit: Oh, I don’t that Connecticut, I only know Danbury.
Suit: Isn’t that in Connecticut?
Lady suit: I told you, I don’t know Connecticut.
–Maiden Lane & South Street
Yuppie guy: I don’t know, man. I’m still on Connecticut time.
–W. 56th between 5th & 6th
Girl #1: …Okay I got one.
Girl #2: Okay. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Girl #1: New Orleans sure is a disaster; send them Fanta faster faster!
–52nd & 6th
Overheard by: J‑Mo
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man?
–Odessa, Ave. A
Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep.
–Elevator, 56th & 8th
Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama!
–Terminal 5
Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses?
–Cafe Esperanto
Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator!
–TriBeCa
Overheard by: lalala
Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.
–51st & 3rd
Overheard by: IG
Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.
–4 Train
Overheard by: BQM lady
Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats!
–Astor Place
Flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to welcome you aboard JetBlue flight 1024 with nonstop service to Boston. Before we depart, I would like to take the time and make sure that everyone is on the right flight — we don’t want people finding out that they’re going to the wrong city after we shut the cabin doors. Is everyone here going to Boston? [Silence.] I said, is everyone here going to Boston?
Passengers: Yes!
Flight attendant: Thank you. You have to answer me, people!
–JetBlue flight, JFK
Biotech #1: He hired this blonde girl from Chicago… with pageant hair!
Biotech #2: Ew. Pageant hair? Hello, this is New York City. We aren’t blonde, and we aren’t perky!
–6 train
Hipster boy: That’s why they call this the windy city?
Hipster girl: This isn’t the windy city — that’s Seattle!
–PATH train, E 9th St
Overheard by: POOP!
Little girl, reading aloud: I went to Malibu. I was talking trash with Tom Collins.
Mom: Baby, I said I don’t want to hear your poem today!
–1 train, 137th St
(two 30-something white guys coming back from the gym on Saturday night)
Guy #1: I mean, New York is real. Boston is real. Everywhere else in America, it isn’t real.
Guy #2: Totally.
–W 82nd & Broadway
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist