Archive for the ‘Vagina’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Fucking Glad It’s Over

Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half-blood Prince Street, but Prince Street.

–N train

Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero

30-year old fan: … And then he sprinkled magic dust over her throbbing vagina…

–Book release, Spring & Mercer

Overheard by: santos l. halper

Man to five-year-old son: Yeah, you know Harry Potter is now in this play in London where he plays a naked guy that has sex with horses? Comin’ to Broadway soon.

–Harry Potter Pl on Mercer St

Overheard by: i don’t THINK that’s how it goes actually…

Girl glancing at boy reading Deathly Hallows: Does Frodo die?

–Strings Attached Theater Company’s performance of Life As We Know It

What Not to Wednesday One-Liner

Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.

–Union Pool, Brooklyn

Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…

–LIRR

Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.

–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens

Overheard by: Aloof Loner

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.

–Bloomingdale’s

Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V‑neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!

–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square

Overheard by: Zarya

[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!

–Macy’s

Overheard by: Tracy

Damp, Delicious Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell: Is your vagina swelled to the same degree as my penis is swelled?

–Union Square

Overheard by: SayWhhhaat

40-ish guy on cell: So, did she show you her vagina?

–43rd & 3rd

Black guy on cell: This is why I never beg for pussy!

–Spring St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Emily B

Girl: My vagina is the Lincoln Tunnel.

–NJ Transit, Penn Station

Overheard by: Jason Kruta

13-year-old boy to teen girl: I mean, the pussy’s good, but it ain’t that good.

–Jamaica-bound E train

Overheard by: Rhonda hearts Queens

Chick on cell: I don’t know why I listened to you. It hurt. A lot. My vagina feels like it’s on fire. I’m never doing that again.

–92nd & 3rd