Archive for the ‘Vagina’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Celebrate V-J-J Day

Girl to male friend: I mean, they were both lousy lovers, but when it came right down to it her vagina was just too wide.

–110th & Broadway

Ghetto teen: Yo, girl! Don’t be pickin’ at yo’ pussy like that in the street! You’ll be on YouTube tomorrow!

–South St Seaport

Overheard by: Big Larry

JAP: I don’t understand how a baby just fell out of her vagina and she didn’t feel anything!

–Outside Lafayette St dorm, NYU

Overheard by: Philouza

Girl on cell: I fully support the idea of a vagina factory.

–7th St & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: Liam Cubbin

Bimbette: Tiff, do these make my vagina look furry?

–Dressing room, Macy’s

Overheard by: SarahM

Chick: My vagina seems so crooked today…

–23rd & 5th

Overheard by: Bruce

Girl on cell: No! He was seriously, like, drilling for oil or something. My vagina is not a source of fossil fuel!

–Central Park

Overheard by: But it’d be cool if it were

The End Of Western Civilization: An OINY Short Story.

Lawyer #1: I saw this funny video on YouTube last night. I did a search for “retards” and there was this one called “retarded Britney Spears fan.” It was a retard singing one of her songs.
Lawyer #2: Have you seen 2 Girls 1 Cup?
Lawyer #1: I was able to watch about two seconds of it before I had to click it off.
Lawyer #2: Did you see the one called “extreme pain”? I could only watch about five seconds of it. A guy was cutting off his own dick.
Lawyer #1: That's some sick shit. How's your cat?
Lawyer #2: You should see her. She rolls over on her back and my dog licks her between the legs for a long time, then smacks his lips.
Lawyer #1: You should video that and put it on YouTube. Call it “eating pussy.” You'll get a million hits!

–Civil Court, 141 Livingston St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Wednesday One-Liners Love Drunk Talk

Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?

–Starbucks, Sheridan Square

Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…

–Downtown 6 Train

Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!

–49th St, Astoria

Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!

–116th St

Jelly Roll Wednesday One-Liners

Chick: … So she had sex with both Rush Limbaugh and Bernie Kerik? Ewww, I wouldn’t want to be her vagina!

–10 E 53rd St

Overheard by: I thought ewww, too

Fat latina: You mean it don’t shake and jump up and down? Girl, what kinda clit do you have?

–Stanton & Clinton

Old guy sweeping sidewalk: You won’t see me begging for no pussy. No way.

–118th & 5th

Overheard by: robin b

Girl in skirt to boy, both standing in the cold: If you could see my undercarriage right now you would see that it’s quivering.

–21st & Broadway

Guy on cell: Yeah, girl. Well, just wait, ’cause I’m gonna terrorize your pussy tonight.

–Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Peter Rice

Lesbian: … So I was like, ‘Fine, bitch. You can shove your own fucking fingers up your own fucking cooch. I’m going to put on my clothes and sit in the corner and change my Facebook status…’

–Restroom, Stuyvesant High School

Teen boy: I ate too much pussy. Now I have pussy poisoning.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: sara swank