Archive for the ‘Vagina’ Category

The End Of West­ern Civ­i­liza­tion: An OINY Short Sto­ry.

Lawyer #1: I saw this fun­ny video on YouTube last night. I did a search for “re­tards” and there was this one called “re­tard­ed Brit­ney Spears fan.” It was a re­tard singing one of her songs.
Lawyer #2: Have you seen 2 Girls 1 Cup?
Lawyer #1: I was able to watch about two sec­onds of it be­fore I had to click it off.
Lawyer #2: Did you see the one called “ex­treme pain”? I could on­ly watch about five sec­onds of it. A guy was cut­ting off his own dick.
Lawyer #1: That’s some sick shit. How’s your cat?
Lawyer #2: You should see her. She rolls over on her back and my dog licks her be­tween the legs for a long time, then smacks his lips.
Lawyer #1: You should video that and put it on YouTube. Call it “eat­ing pussy.” You’ll get a mil­lion hits!

–Civ­il Court, 141 Liv­ingston St., Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Love Drunk Talk

Drunk girl with tin­sel in her hair: Al­right, so why is in my his­to­ry that it says “”?

–Star­bucks, Sheri­dan Square

Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The on­ly amazin’ thing about them is they nev­er fuck­ing win…

–Down­town 6 Train

Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagi­na bar!

–49th St, As­to­ria

Drunk girl­friend to even drunk­er boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!

–116th St

Jel­ly Roll Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Chick: … So she had sex with both Rush Lim­baugh and Bernie Kerik? Ewww, I would­n’t want to be her vagi­na!

–10 E 53rd St

Over­heard by: I thought ewww, too

Fat lati­na: You mean it don’t shake and jump up and down? Girl, what kin­da clit do you have?

–Stan­ton & Clin­ton

Old guy sweep­ing side­walk: You won’t see me beg­ging for no pussy. No way.

–118th & 5th

Over­heard by: robin b

Girl in skirt to boy, both stand­ing in the cold: If you could see my un­der­car­riage right now you would see that it’s quiv­er­ing.

–21st & Broad­way

Guy on cell: Yeah, girl. Well, just wait, ’cause I’m gonna ter­ror­ize your pussy tonight.

–Flat­bush Ave, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Pe­ter Rice

Les­bian: … So I was like, ‘Fine, bitch. You can shove your own fuck­ing fin­gers up your own fuck­ing cooch. I’m go­ing to put on my clothes and sit in the cor­ner and change my Face­book sta­tus…’

–Re­stroom, Stuyvesant High School

Teen boy: I ate too much pussy. Now I have pussy poi­son­ing.

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: sara swank