Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category

Are Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Fun­ny Ha-Ha, or Fun­ny-Pe­cu­liar?

Guy eat­ing pan­cakes: Every­thing’s fun­ny in ret­ro­spect, like the time I got that screw­driv­er stuck in my eye.

–IHOP, Brook­lyn

An­cient Greek civ­i­liza­tion pro­fes­sor: A sex­u­al act, in some sense, for an ob­serv­er is fun­ny.

–Hunter Col­lege

Crazy la­dy: All the pros­ti­tutes need to be round­ed up and stuck in church­es! (teen girl laughs) You think that’s fun­ny? It’s not gonna be fun­ny when you are in a hos­pi­tal ad­dict­ed to crack!

–Wa­ter St & Broad St

Girl to her friend: Would­n’t it be fun­ny if hu­man be­ings could on­ly walk for­ward and back­wards?

–8th St & 2nd Ave

La­dy sit­ting with girl­friends: It’s fun­ny be­cause I’m preg­nant, and he does­n’t know.

–Star­bucks

Drunk­en Jets fan to friends in Jets jer­seys: That’s not fun­ny. You want to see some­thing fun­ny? (grabs wood­en sign­post, slams fore­head in­to it) That’s fun­ny!

–W 4th & Bar­row

Over­heard by: ji­ra mon­key

Sure­ly She Does­n’t Mean Ronald reg­giN?

Woman: …you know, he was much dark­er than the oth­er kids who were re­al­ly white, so he was called a nig­ger. He was dyslex­ic.
Man: Wha?
Woman: But he was a strong boy. One time when he was bit­ten by a dog, I came in to his room and he was ly­ing there with blood on him. He did­n’t scream or say a word…a very strong boy.
Man: What are you talk­ing about?

–Times Square

The Sum Of All Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Woman on cell: And when my broth­er got near him, his poop came out. That’s how scared he was.

–107th & Broad­way

Woman on cell: So yeah, they are re­al­ly scary, like if you walk in the house they will bark re­al­ly loud, and that’s to­tal­ly worse than them bit­ing you.

–Ma­jes­tic The­ater

Girl on cell: I went in for ge­net­ic coun­sel­ing and I found out things that scared me.

–10th Ave & 39th St

Over­heard by: Todd Fletch­er

Girl on cell: No, you can’t go! I’m too stoned and too scared. Just stay on the phone with me, please.

–Su­per­mar­ket, As­to­ria

Con­duc­tor: Nev­er fear! The phan­tom of the train is here!

–7 Train

Over­heard by: Alex