Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category

Try “Dog­gies for Drug­gies,” Sir

Young thug to AS­P­CA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
AS­P­CA rep: Yes, she is up for adop­tion, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that’s cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
AS­P­CA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain’t gonna beat her.

–Union Square, AS­P­CA Day

Over­heard by: Some­body should beat him.

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Go for the Jugu­lar

Slut­ty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I’ve been shit­ting blood for two days.

–Citi Field Sta­di­um

Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.

–St. Mark’s

Over­heard by: jax

Chick laugh­ing hys­ter­i­cal­ly on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: Fresh Man

Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleed­ing from his eye sock­ets and shit. (pause) So you wan­na meet up lat­er?

–Willough­by & Van­der­bilt

Was­n’t This a Teen Movie?

Teen girl to friends: I’ve heard that they un­leash packs of Rot­tweil­ers here at night.
Friends: What?
Girl: Yeah, to keep peo­ple from just hid­ing in here and sleep­ing, or what­ev­er. Be­cause it’s so big and they can’t cov­er the whole thing… Packs of Rot­tweil­ers cov­er­ing the woods… (friends gasp)

–New York Botan­i­cal Gar­dens

Tell That to Sarah Jes­si­ca Park­er

Dude #1: So I’m to­tal­ly fight­ing with Mark–
Dude #2: You mean phys­i­cal­ly fight­ing, or meta­phys­i­cal­ly fight­ing?
Dude #1: Meta­phys­i­cal­ly. But does it make a dif­fer­ence?
Dude #2: Well, dude, you can’t get punched in the face, meta­phys­i­cal­ly.

–West 3rd & Mer­cer

Over­heard by: Dev Nille