Archive for the ‘Visual Art’ Category

What Is Art? Are We Art? Are Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Art?

Old­er gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you did­n’t need to have pas­sion or tal­ent to be an artist; you just need­ed to have a van, be­cause no one else was go­ing to haul your shit­ty art around.

–7th Ave & 14th St

Over­heard by: Miss C

Girl read­ing sign at Frank Lloyd Wright mu­se­um: Oh… He was an ar­chi­tect!

–Guggen­heim Mu­se­um

Over­heard by: An­tar­tic

Mom to lit­tle girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you’ll turn in­to a stat­ue.

–Mo­MA

Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she did­n’t think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I’ll go to a fuck­ing mu­se­um if I fuck­ing want to. I’ll look at some paint­ings and shit.

–Down­town Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Mark McLaugh­lin

12-year-old boy, look­ing at Pi­cas­so paint­ings: This is to­tal­ly my thing, man, it’s like free porn.

–Mo­MA

We’re Al­most Done With The Gates

Boy: This…cost $23 mil­lion.
Dad: There’s 23 miles of them!
Boy: Still, that’s a mil­lion dol­lars a mile!

Boy: Wait…so is the fab­ric pure saf­fron?
Mom: No no no, saf­fron is a spice.
Boy: Oh. The on­ly time I’d heard that be­fore was on Poke­mon, they had Saf­fron City.

Mom: It looks like they’re about to start march­ing!
Dad: They will, by Mon­day.
Boy: Wha?

–The Gates

“Cre­ative” Is a Eu­phemism for “Ig­no­rant”

Over­ly talk­a­tive man, af­ter see­ing “trans­par­ent mon­u­ment” ex­hib­it: I saw a white cloud and a gray cloud but I did­n’t see no black cloud…If I was Na­tive Amer­i­can I would see a red cloud!
Man’s Asian girl­friend: Or a pur­ple one!
Over­ly talk­a­tive man: What?!

–El­e­va­tor, The Met

Over­heard by: liselle boyette

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Go Through a Grey Pe­ri­od

Girl look­ing at garbage and dirt spilled on the side­walk: Gross. You think it’s sup­posed to be art?

–Broad­way & Hous­ton

Lit­er­a­ture pro­fes­sor: So any­thing that any­body ever paint­ed was a Gui­do?

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Plau­si­bly mad sep­tu­a­ge­nar­i­an clerk: When I was 16 Stravin­sky bought my first paint­ing. It was writ­ten up in the pa­per. A cou­ple of days lat­er, I was kid­napped.

–Barnes & No­ble, Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Seth

Fa­ther to four-year-old son: Look­ing at art makes your legs tired.

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um Lob­by

Philis­tine: I don’t like art in which you have to un­der­stand the mo­ti­va­tion be­hind it.

–Out­side the Guggen­heim

Over­heard by: De­vot­ed Pup­py

Pro­fes­sor-type man to group of teens look­ing at Greek sculp­tures: And if the sculp­ture’s back is up against the wall and you want to see it from be­hind, just get up against a wall and look at its ass as much as you can… yeah! It’s not dirty or wrong… Just look at its ass!

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um of Art