Archive for the ‘Vomit’ Category

NYC: The Best Restau­rants Beget the Best Eat­ing Dis­or­ders

Well-dressed girl #1: You know what?
Well-dressed girl #2: What?
Well-dressed girl #1: Throw­ing up at work re­al­ly is­n’t as bad as it seems.

–Prince Street be­tween Lafayette & Mul­ber­ry

Waif #1: Ugh. I feel so fat…I feel so gross. I’m not go­ing to fit in­to any of my sum­mer clothes…I’ve been try­ing to be so good, go­ing to the gym every­day and every­thing.
Waif #2: You’re not fat.
Waif #1: Yes I am. You can on­ly say that be­cause you’re thin…I ate a sal­ad to­day for lunch. But then I just ate all of these sweet thinga­ma­jig­gies.

–W train

Over­heard by: No­ra S.

Co­lum­bia chick on cell: …I mean, like, yes­ter­day I to­tal­ly pigged out on sal­ad.

–116th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: djlindee

When Gay Boys Turn Straight in Self-De­fense

Dude #1: So my room­mate keeps jerkin off at my com­put­er.
Dude #2: That’s fucked.
Dude #1: It did­n’t both­er me at all till I smelled my chair. So I con­front­ed him.
Dude #2: What hap­pened?
Dude #1: He said he’d put some­thing on the chair next time. I guess I’m sup­posed to be okay with him pop­pin one off at my desk, I guess.

–Bell­house Bar

Over­heard by: bil­ly

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Teach Your Chil­dren Well

Preg­nant woman to 3‑year-old son: Do you re­mem­ber what hap­pened last time you licked the sub­way? That’s right. You threw up.

–4 train

Over­heard by: Leo­ra

Par­ent: My son is on­ly two years old, sit­tin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my broth­er taught him that.

–Mer­rill Lynch lob­by, Broad­way & Park Row

Mom to 4‑year-old: Stop cry­ing and take a mo­ment and think about how you feel.

–Broad­way & 104th