Archive for the ‘Waiters’ Category

But Do “The Pee Pee Dance” for My Amusement, and We’ll Talk

Desperate lady walking in diner: Can I use your bathroom?
Diner guy: Bathrooms are for customers only.
Desperate lady: I’ll give you ten dollars.
Diner guy: Bathrooms are for customers.
Desperate lady: I’m desperate.
Diner guy: You can talk to the manager.
Desperate lady to manager: Can I use your bathroom?
Manager: Bathrooms are for customers.
Desperate lady: I’ll give you ten dollars.
Manager: I don’t need ten dollars.

–Diner, Chelsea

Overheard by: stephie

Serving or “Acting”?

Waiter: May I take your orders, or do you need a few more minutes?
Guy: Um, we had a waitress come by and take our drink orders…
Waiter: Yes, well, I can take your food order if you’re ready.
Guy: What happened to our waitress?
Waiter: She quit.

–Aquavit, East 55th Street

Overheard by: Not telling 

That Country Being the UNITED STATES (Coming Soon)

Chick: So are you Japanese?
Waitress: No, I’m–
Chick: Chinese? Korean?
Waitress: –I’m Indonesian.
Chick: …where is that?
Waitress: Asia.
Chick: …Oh, you mean like, with Malaysia, Vietnam, Korea and all those others!
Waitress: Yes…
Chick: And they’re all related, right?…And they’re in the same country?

–Wasabi, Greenpoint

Says the Woman Wearing a Leopard-Print Fannypack?

Tourist lady: Where’s the ladies’ room?
Waiter: Top of the stairs on the left.
Tourist lady: I was just up there. It’s not marked for ladies, so I was afraid to use it.
Waiter: It’s a unisex.
Tourist lady: Excuse me?
Waiter: It’s for everyone. Men and women.
Tourist lady: You’re all going to hell. Do you know that?

–Bar 89, Mercer St

Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/