Archive for the ‘Waiters’ Category

That Coun­try Be­ing the UNIT­ED STATES (Com­ing Soon)

Chick: So are you Japan­ese?
Wait­ress: No, I’m–
Chick: Chi­nese? Ko­re­an?
Wait­ress: –I’m In­done­sian.
Chick: …where is that?
Wait­ress: Asia.
Chick: …Oh, you mean like, with Malaysia, Viet­nam, Ko­rea and all those oth­ers!
Wait­ress: Yes…
Chick: And they’re all re­lat­ed, right?…And they’re in the same coun­try?

–Wasabi, Green­point

Says the Woman Wear­ing a Leop­ard-Print Fan­ny­pack?

Tourist la­dy: Where’s the ladies’ room?
Wait­er: Top of the stairs on the left.
Tourist la­dy: I was just up there. It’s not marked for ladies, so I was afraid to use it.
Wait­er: It’s a uni­sex.
Tourist la­dy: Ex­cuse me?
Wait­er: It’s for every­one. Men and women.
Tourist la­dy: You’re all go­ing to hell. Do you know that?

–Bar 89, Mer­cer St

Over­heard by: Veron­i­ca at

Have a Hap­py Kwan­za­akkah!

Wait­er: Hey, was­sup? I’m Sean. What’s your name?
Girl: Re­bec­ca. Nice to meet you.
Wait­er: And you, man?
Guy: Kwan­zaa.
Wait­er: Hey, by any change you are mixed with Jew­ish?
Guy: Er, no, every­thing but.
Wait­er: Well…’cause, you know, I’m Jew­ish.
Guy: …Okay.
Wait­er: Uh, ’cause you know, Kwan­za­a’s a Jew­ish Hol­i­day?
Girl: It is? Wow, I did­n’t know that.

–Din­er 24, 8th Av­enue

Over­heard by: enkie

This Urn of Scald­ing De­caf Says You Are Mis­tak­en

Wait­er: Ex­cuse me, sir — can you fin­ish up your cof­fee? We’re clos­ing.
Cus­tomer: What do you mean? It’s on­ly 10:30! You close at eleven.
Wait­er: Well, we changed the hours, and we now close at 10:30.
Cus­tomer: Well, last time I checked, I am a cus­tomer and I am right about a lot of stuff, and I say you close at eleven.

–Cof­fee shop, 20th & 1st

Over­heard by: PJ