Archive for the ‘Waxing’ Category

We’re Sure There’s a “Brazil­ian Rain­for­est” Joke in Here Some­where

Stu­dent #1: She’s from the Do­mini­can Re­pub­lic, right?
Stu­dent #2: Um, yeah, I think so.
Stu­dent #1: Is she classy…?
Stu­dent #2: Eh, not re­al­ly, no. At the meet­ing the oth­er day, she was wear­ing a skirt. I could see her cooch.
Stu­dent #3: [Just join­ing the con­ver­sa­tion] What’s a cooch?
[Silence.]Student #1: Her vagi­na.
Stu­dent #2: Her for­est. Ex­cept it was bar­ren. There were no trees. Bar­ren.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

I’m Pret­ty Sure It’s Called The G Spot

Girl #1: Man, if I’m go­ing to go to that par­ty tonight, I got­ta shave my hair.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too. Where is the best price around here?
Girl #3: There’s one on Lex­ing­ton by my place, and a guy does it, and he’s so hot I just want him to ac­ci­den­tal­ly shove his dick up me.
Girl #2: Then we’ll go to that place!

–6 Train

Over­heard by: An­drew

Have You Seen Wednes­day? It’s To­tal­ly Had Its One-Lin­ers Done.

Woman on cell: I can’t be­lieve no one said any­thing… How could no one no­tice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this mon­ey to get my nose fixed, and no one says any­thing?

–Nor­folk & Hous­ton

50-year-old la­dy: So are you still down for the Brazil­ian wax?

–45th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Chuch

Lit­tle girl, point­ing at some­one hav­ing their eye­brows thread­ed: Look! They’re sewing that wom­an’s face!

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: ken­zi

Or­ange la­dy: Is it like you def­i­nite­ly, for sure get can­cer from a tan­ning bed? Cause then I might stop.

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: Alex­is

Is It Sick That I Wednes­day on Their One-Lin­ers?

Guy on phone: It’s prob­a­bly some­thing be­yond the bes­tial­i­ty in why you did­n’t get hired.

–4th & Lafayette

Over­heard by: andy

Dis­em­bod­ied voice in crowd: Necrophil­ia, re­al­ly?

–Times Square

Man: The thing is: my safe­ty word is “No, hard­er, hard­er.”

–NY Com­ic Con

Girl: No, se­ri­ous­ly, my par­ents used to have like a har­ness and a leash for me, be­cause I used to run away in the air­port all the time.

–Ford­ham Law School

Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Over­heard by: Will

Guy: Great. She does­n’t even know me and al­ready she thinks I have a pro­duce fetish.

–Whole Foods, Chelsea

Over­heard by: Hunter (aka,

Good Thing Grand­ma’s in a Co­ma or She’d Nev­er Get a Boyfriend!

Girl #1: I just want­ed to scream at her to put on a god­damn bra and shave her fuck­ing armpits!
Girl #2: Oh my god, I know. I mean, it’s not like she has much there… But it’s some­thing and you got­ta cov­er those pup­pies up.

–Green­wich Vil­lage

Head­line by: RaRa

Run­ners-Up:
· “And the Way She Was Hold­ing Ba­by Jesus–ROTFL” — ddv
· “I Mean, You’d Think She’d WANT to Look Good at Her Own Com­mu­nion!” — RaRa
· “Joan and Melis­sa Rivers’ Com­men­tary at the Bronx Zoo” — al­li­son
· “Or Car­ry Them in a Bag Like a Celebri­ty” — An­drew
· “Where Have All the Paula Cole’s Gone?” — chub­ba
· “Yeah, But Jagged Lit­tle Pill Was Such a Great Al­bum” — blis­tex­ad­dict
· “You’d Think by the Age Of 8, She’d Get That!” — MalG

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Do Those One-Lin­ers Go All the Way Up to Your Wednes­day?

La­dy to an­oth­er: I’m wax­ing my crotch whether he likes it or not!

–52nd & Madi­son

Over­heard by: someguys­likethe­jun­gle

Pre­teen: Yo, she bit Mark’s crotch!

–66th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: dan

Girl to an­oth­er: I don’t think he’d like your stilet­to heel in his ac­tu­al crotch. Oh, now your twat is all over the place.

–Olive­bridge

Man on cell, notic­ing, “The Big Pe­nis Book”: Hey, I’m at this book­store and they have this big book of penis­es… Oh, you have it al­ready? The big book, with the pink cov­er and crotch on the front? Oh, okay, cool.

–Book­store, Brookyln

Bim­bo: Crotch­es are al­ways wrong!

–Amer­i­can Ap­par­el Store