Archive for the ‘Waxing’ Category

Do Those One-Lin­ers Go All the Way Up to Your Wednes­day?

La­dy to an­oth­er: I’m wax­ing my crotch whether he likes it or not!

–52nd & Madi­son

Over­heard by: someguys­likethe­jun­gle

Pre­teen: Yo, she bit Mark’s crotch!

–66th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: dan

Girl to an­oth­er: I don’t think he’d like your stilet­to heel in his ac­tu­al crotch. Oh, now your twat is all over the place.

–Olive­bridge

Man on cell, notic­ing, “The Big Pe­nis Book”: Hey, I’m at this book­store and they have this big book of penis­es… Oh, you have it al­ready? The big book, with the pink cov­er and crotch on the front? Oh, okay, cool.

–Book­store, Brookyln

Bim­bo: Crotch­es are al­ways wrong!

–Amer­i­can Ap­par­el Store

Pre­sent­ing the Year’s Sweet­est Com­pli­ment

Girl: Do you like it bet­ter when I’m shaved?
Guy: Eh… I don’t re­al­ly care.
Girl: Re­al­ly? Most guys have a pref­er­ence.
Guy: Yeah, but with you it does­n’t mat­ter. You know how any hair­style looks good on a pret­ty face? It’s kind of like that.

–Bow­ery & 5th St

Over­heard by: did­n’t see her face…

Is It Re­al­ly an Ac­com­plish­ment to Score Pussy If You’re Gay?

Hip­ster: I’ve been mean­ing to talk to you about your new look. It’s rather… um… gui­do.
Gui­do: Yeah, I know. But the pussy, dude — the pussy, you would­n’t be­lieve.
Hip­ster: It bet­ter be good, be­cause your eye­brows are waxed. And you’re a man.

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: gui­do hater

Van­i­ty, Thy Name Is Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Girl to guy: And I was like, “He bleach­es his ass­hole, what does he know about anato­my?”

–Pratt In­sti­tute, Brook­lyn

Sev­en-year-old girl to boy throw­ing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eye­lin­er to­day!

–Fort Greene Park, Brook­lyn

Very large woman on cell: It’s called “Brazil­ian wax job.” You on­ly have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itch­es for a day or two, but it’s worth every pen­ny.

–PATH

Over­heard by: Corey

Young la­dy with long curly hair to girl­friend: So, I start­ed dry­ing my hair with pa­per tow­els re­cent­ly.

–Mon­tague St, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: E‑Man>Master of the UNI­VERSE!

Out­raged fem­i­nine gay guy to an­oth­er: He’s hav­ing his lips re­done… again!

–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea

Over­heard by: Evan

Woman on cell: Girl, I don’t un­der­stand why you got­ta put on all that make­up just to go for a colonic!

–Wash­ing­ton Heights

How Are You Fixed for Blades, Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

Girl: What kind of fur can we use that is on­ly shaved and does­n’t hurt the an­i­mals, like shear­ling, and not skinned?

–Bleeck­er & Lafayette

Over­heard by: Anony­mous

Man to ladies: So, I walk in the room and I see one guy shav­ing the oth­er guy’s balls.

–For­est Hills, Queens

Over­heard by: Can­dyPer­fume

Guy to girl: I just shaved my balls and now I’m itch­ing all over.

–Hous­ton St

Over­heard by: pubey-free

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Cunt Hard­ly Wait

Ran­dom girl: I think PE­TA should be in­formed any time an an­i­mal is ful­ly sub­merged in a vagi­na.

–Web­ster Hall

Over­heard by: Jen

20-some­thing plat­inum blonde to an­oth­er: Her vagi­na… Her vagi­na must be the size of, like, the Grand Canyon.

–7th Ave & 12th St

Girl, about her play: I don’t think peo­ple are go­ing to laugh about the vagi­na be­ing killed on stage… Yeah, no one’s gonna laugh when the vagi­na dies.

–NYU

Dude ques­tion­ing an­oth­er: What do mean by “mod­er­ate Tal­iban”? Like the women can wax their vagi­nas?

–Eliz­a­beth Street

Young man shout­ing on cell: Then just tell her you don’t like her vagi­na!

–26th St & Park Ave

Silky-Smooth and Light­ly Scent­ed Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Gui­do to an­oth­er: She ac­tu­al­ly shaves be­tween sex and shit.

–Bay Ridge, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Bel­ladon­na Wex­home

Mid­dle-aged Gui­do: No­body gives tricks any more, on­ly treats. I re­mem­ber when I was a kid. I used to get shav­ing cream in my face.

–78th St & West End

Over­heard by: jess_stang

Guy com­ing out of Beeswax screen­ing: I will not bow to the hege­mo­ny of the ra­zor.

–BAM Cin­e­mafest

Girl to friend and boyfriend: I def­i­nite­ly pre­fer a fe­male gy­ne­col­o­gist to a male one. Mine is a re­al­ly old woman, and she’s great! She just says to me, “I am shav­ing you.” My lips are re­al­ly big!

–E 7th St

Over­heard by: Evan