Chick #1: How many colors are in two rainbows?
Chick #2: Shut up, Kimberly!
–NYU
Overheard by: Clara
Archive for the ‘Weather’ Category
No, She’s Thinking of the Houses…and Limbs
Guy: So a bunch of people are getting hurricane Katrina tattoos.
Girl #1: What would a hurricane tattoo even look like?
Girl #2: It would just be a swirl.
Girl #1: No babe, you’re thinking of a tornado.
–Stanton Social Club, Stanton Street
Overheard by: JDM & MZ
It’s Like the Entire State Gets Spontaneous Parkinson’s
Girl #1: So how do you like New York?
Guy: I love it. I mean, I love coming here, but I couldn’t live here.
Girl #2: Why not?
Guy: I’m not a snow person. Snow should be visited, not lived in. Me and blizzards just wouldn’t get along.
Girl #1: We’re from South Carolina. We love it here. We don’t mind
the snow. It’s better than the storms and hurricanes.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate the hurricanes.
Guy: Well, where I live we don’t have blizzards or hurricanes.
Girl #1: But you have earthquakes. That’s worse.
Guy: Maybe, but we don’t have earthquake season.
–Atlantic & 3rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Dave
Core…Body Temperature…Dropping…Need…Hugs
Drunk 20-something man: Ow! It's cold out, ladies!
Teenage girl: You're drunk, mister!
–4th St & 1st Ave
Too Busy Defending Their Master’s Thesis
Girl #1: I’m cold.
Girl #2: Oh, shut up. What if you were homeless, then what would you do?
Girl #1: Kill myself.
Girl #2: Oh. Why don’t they think of that?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Colleen
That, and the Monkeys at Busch Gardens Have Cannons for Arms
Old Park Ave husband: Now this is what the weather is supposed to be.
Old Park Ave wife: Yes. Not too hot, not below zero.
Old Park Ave husband: One of many reasons why Florida is a shit show.
–Park Ave & 61st St
Overheard by: JayHammy
Turns Out My House Was on Fire
Bimbette #1: The weather has been crazy.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I thought we were having global warming yesterday.
–1 train
Wednesday One-Liners, the People's Chariot
Ghetto fab bus driver : Hello and good morning. Welcome to the Bolt Bus, my name is Jacques and I'm going to be your operator today. We do appreciate your business. Well, I appreciate your business. For my nails. Getting my hair done. Yeah.
–BoltBus
Overheard by: Julie and Mark The Snob
Bus driver (as bus leaves Lexington stop): The stop after this stop will be the next stop.
(as bus turns into Central Park) Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop will be Central Park West. Please have your passports ready.
–Crosstown Bus
Bus driver over intercom (as bus passes Unisphere): Oh, everyone's from New York? Then y'all already know this spot! I can't tell you nothing! Bye.
–Shuttle Bus, Flushing Meadows Park
Conductor: Good morning! This is the bus dispatcher. It's a sunny 78 degrees on a beautiful Wednesday! I'm happy to report the bus lanes inbound to New York are slicing through traffic like a hot knife through butter! Enjoy your day, control center, out.
–NJ Transit Bus
Overheard by: Jerzey…CloseEnough
Conductor: Alright folks, remember to keep cool today and drink plenty of water. I recommend ya'll eat some Honey Nut Cheerios. Honey Nut Cheerios will make ya'll nicer to each other. Stay away from that bacon and eggs. Too hot. Yes, Honey Nut Cheerios. Have a nice day.
–B61 Bus
Overheard by: should have eaten breakfast
Wednesday One-liners Sparkle and Shine
Hipster on cell: Okay. After my nap. Call me from the park once you are covered in glitter and I will come down.
–14th & B
Hipster chick: I’m totally boycotting the sun this summer.
–L train
Overheard by: Matt Ferrin
Guy on cell: …and I just told him, “I don’t care what you say. As far as I’m concerned, I am the star of a Broadway musical.”
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Bridget Unnel
What Matters is a Happy Ending
Girl: God, it’s getting so cold! I should’ve brought my winter coat!
Guy: You don’t need a coat, you need a hot man to warm you up.
Girl: I need that, too…but I’d start with a coat.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Mallory McMahon