Archive for the ‘Weather’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Join the Jet Set

Intercom voice: If you heard your name, or something that sounds like it could be your name, please board your plane. It is leaving!

–AirTran gates, LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: Sebastian White

Security official: Okay, people, have your boarding passes out! If you don’t have your boarding passes out, I’m sending you to Amtrak!

–Security screening line, LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: Beth T

Pilot, on crowded runway: Welcome to the parking lot known as LaGuardia Airport.

–LaGuardia Tarmac

Pilot: The mist you are seeing is caused by a difference in temperature. The temperature outside is different from the temperature inside. Once we close the door and prepare for take-off, the mist will disappear, which will make us very sad because we like mist.

–Jetblue flight into New York

Overheard by: Denise

Pilot: Good afternoon, passengers. We are about to make our final descent into John F. Kennedy International Airport, so buckle your seatbelts and hold on tight.

–Flight into JFK

Overheard by: frequent flyer

Sassy flight attendant: In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will be released from the overhead above your seat. After the screaming subsides, please place the oxygen mask around your nose and mouth. If you are traveling with a child or an adult who is acting like a child, place your mask on first before attempting to help put theirs on.

–Flight out of LaGuardia

Overheard by: Ronnie F

Flight attendant: …and for those of you who wish to smoke, quit! And if you want to smoke inside, you came to the wrong state.

–Spirit Air flight into LaGuardia

Overheard by: Kathryn

According to the Ancient Law, You Snooze, You Lose

(passengers start closing bus windows because of heavy rain)
Girl #1: That window's still open.
Girl #2 (reaching over sleeping girl and closing it): Oh my god, I feel like I'm her savior.
Girl #1: Uh-huh.
Girl #2: But now it's really hot. Should we open a window?
Girl #1: Fine. (reaches over and opens the window next to the sleeping girl)
Girl #2: You're evil.
Girl #1: Yeah, like you weren't thinking of doing the same exact thing.

–Bronx Science Vallo Bus

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