Guy #1: Have you been hitting the grass again?
Guy #2: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be orange?
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Jerry
Guy #1: Have you been hitting the grass again?
Guy #2: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be orange?
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Jerry
Hippie to doorman: I know this is a weird question, but is there an office in this building called “Planet Hemp”?
Doorman: Nah man, sorry. (under his breath, as hippie turns and walks away) I fucking wish there was.
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Wanna get High?
Young NYU girl #1: That was the closest thing to getting stoned I’ve ever done without actually smoking pot.
Young NYU girl #2: Yeah, totes.
–Union Square
Girl, talking loudly on cell: Oh my God! I can’t wait ’til I get home to smoke a blunt. No, seriously, I can’t wait!
Young child in front of her: Mommy, what’s a blunt?
–Arrival flight, LaGuardia Tarmac
Overheard by: No you didn’t!
Guy: Wow, I just realized something. Smell that. Manhattan really smells like Froot Loops.
Girl: Really? [She sniffs.]Guy: Yeah. Damn, I gotta lay off the Froot Loops.
Girl: No, Mike, you gotta lay off the pot.
–8th & West 55th
Overheard by: Roger
Woman on cell: And when my brother got near him, his poop came out. That’s how scared he was.
–107th & Broadway
Woman on cell: So yeah, they are really scary, like if you walk in the house they will bark really loud, and that’s totally worse than them biting you.
–Majestic Theater
Girl on cell: I went in for genetic counseling and I found out things that scared me.
–10th Ave & 39th St
Overheard by: Todd Fletcher
Girl on cell: No, you can’t go! I’m too stoned and too scared. Just stay on the phone with me, please.
–Supermarket, Astoria
Conductor: Never fear! The phantom of the train is here!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Alex
“Legalize Marijuana” volunteer: Legalize marijuana now!
Cop to another: Man, I agree with that.
–Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Remi
Young thug to ASPCA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
ASPCA rep: Yes, she is up for adoption, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that’s cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
ASPCA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain’t gonna beat her.
–Union Square, ASPCA Day
Overheard by: Somebody should beat him.
Chick on cell: …girl, you know I told her I would give her $5 and she would put in five. Right, so the guy gave us two dimes, right?… No, he gave us the second one for free, but it looked mangled, so then we went out back to smoke it and hers flew away…Yeah, it flew away into the bushes. Yo, I told her if she wanted to smoke grass for reals, that’s on her. I was like, I’m out…Right, so then I didn’t have no money to get back on the bus because my metrocard ran out at 8:30. She only had a dollar, and I was like, “what am I supposed to do with a dollar?”.
–BX40 bus
Guy on cell: Yeah…right…uh huh…hold on a second.
He leans over and throws up on the sidewalk.
Guy on cell: What were you saying?
–59th & 5th
Overheard by: Jeff Hubbard
Woman #1: I wanna get really stoned so I can throw up.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Just to know I can.
–LIRR
Girl: I want to throw up. Like, I have some puke in the back of my throat.
–Broadway & West 4th
Overheard by: Julia
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist