Archive for the ‘Weed’ Category

Try “Dog­gies for Drug­gies,” Sir

Young thug to AS­P­CA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
AS­P­CA rep: Yes, she is up for adop­tion, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that’s cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
AS­P­CA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain’t gonna beat her.

–Union Square, AS­P­CA Day

Over­heard by: Some­body should beat him.

Wheel­ing and Deal­ing (A NYC Short Sto­ry)

Chick on cell: …girl, you know I told her I would give her $5 and she would put in five. Right, so the guy gave us two dimes, right?… No, he gave us the sec­ond one for free, but it looked man­gled, so then we went out back to smoke it and hers flew away…Yeah, it flew away in­to the bush­es. Yo, I told her if she want­ed to smoke grass for re­als, that’s on her. I was like, I’m out…Right, so then I did­n’t have no mon­ey to get back on the bus be­cause my metro­card ran out at 8:30. She on­ly had a dol­lar, and I was like, “what am I sup­posed to do with a dol­lar?”.

–BX40 bus

Think of the Starv­ing Ba­by Birds in Africa

Guy on cell: Yeah…right…uh huh…hold on a sec­ond.

He leans over and throws up on the side­walk.

Guy on cell: What were you say­ing?

–59th & 5th

Over­heard by: Jeff Hub­bard

Woman #1: I wan­na get re­al­ly stoned so I can throw up.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Just to know I can.

–LIRR

Girl: I want to throw up. Like, I have some puke in the back of my throat.

–Broad­way & West 4th

Over­heard by: Ju­lia

And Look What Hap­pened to Them.

Drunk white girl #1: African Amer­i­cans smoked a lot of weed back in the day.
Drunk white girl #2: Yeah! That’s why they’re so strong and shit to­day. Weed is what made the blacks strong!
Drunk white girl #1: Oh… Did I say “African Amer­i­cans”? I meant to say “Amer­i­can In­di­ans.”
(both laugh)

–Out­side Le Bar Bat, Hel­l’s Kitchen

A Mis­un­der­stand­ing Re­gard­ing Whether Her Man Should Con­tin­ue Breath­ing

Woman: This is the sec­ond time I been to New York, though, ’cause last time my girl was like, “Do you like the nightlife?” and I said, “Yeah,” and she was like, “Then you got­ta get to the city, bitch,” and I got ar­rest­ed for smok­ing a blunt on some­one’s brown­stone.
Man: That’s ter­ri­ble.
Woman: Oh no, I mean, it was like the sec­ond time I got ar­rest­ed, you know, so it was like no big deal.
Man: What hap­pened the first time?
Girl: Oh, that was just a mis­un­der­stand­ing. I was like 14, and I was wit’ ma man, and we was hav­ing words–like, we was hav­ing a disagreement–and I stabbed him, is all. It was just a mis­un­der­stand­ing.

–Chi­na­town bus

Over­heard by: Fung Wah­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha