Archive for the ‘Weed’ Category

…Pipe Wrench. What?

Employee #1 on phone: So, I’m at your apartment and I found your pipe, but I can’t find your–
Employee #2: Dude, stop… You’re on speakerphone! –Office, 44th & Broadway

We Heart Wednesday One-Liners, Now More Than Ever

Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day. –West Village Overheard by: Joe Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York! –1 Train Overheard by: Ashley Nelson Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers! –St. Mark's Place Overheard by: Lizzzzz Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town. –1 Train Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city. –City Hall Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York! –34th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Mateo que Feo

Wednesday One-Liners Are the Idols of Millions of Suburban White Boys

Thug to friends: Look, whatever, but I have never found myself with a girl who has no face. –Columbia University Thug: Yo, I got a huge blunt in my pocket… Oh, wait, that’s my inhaler. –Q train Overheard by: djingo Thug: Fuck that. Fuck that, nigga! If Bill Gates offered me 20 billion dollars to suck his cock, I’d swallow. Fuck. –Brooklyn College Overheard by: I would, too. Thug athlete, after soccer game: You always be playin’ that shit. You play that shit here, you play that shit in basketball, you play that shit in choir… –Prospect Park Overheard by: this guy Thug on cell: I don’t know where I was, but they’s Germans everywhere in this hood! They on my left, right. Damn! [Looks around anxiously] Now I know how Patton felt, son! –14th & Driggs Teen thug to friend: Yo, man, have you looked at a map of Manhattan? Know what that shit looks like?! –W 79th Overheard by: Nikki W.

Just outside the Blast Radius of an Impacting Piano

Mysterious liquid falls out of the blue sky and lands on three guys walking together. Dude #1: What the fuck was that?
Dude #2: It smells like bong water! Dude, that is karma getting back at you, and we’re suffering for it, too.
Dude #3: Yeah, Gabe, from now on you walk 20 paces ahead of us. –Bleecker Overheard by: Max

The Drug Legalization Debate; NYC Edition

Hobo: Look, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not hungry or sick, I just need some money so I can get high, but it’s just weed, I don’t do heroin or cocaine or any of that shit.
Guy: You know, it’s because of guys like you that people think pot should be illegal! Look at you! When I get high, I pay my own way! I earn my own money and get high! There are little kids on this train! What do you think they’re going to learn? Man, think a little! –4 train Overheard by: Alice S.

The Day Mombolu Changed Professions

Talkative hobo, seeing woman holding papers about Africa: What's up in Africa? You don't look African.
Dignified woman: I used to work in Angola.
Talkative hobo: That's the best kind of job to have, where they pay to send you all over the world. Damn, I bet it costs $2000 to fly to Angola if you were paying for it out of your own pocket.
Dignified woman: Actually, it costs more than that. It's about $4000 to fly to Angola and back from here.
Talkative hobo: Holy shit! $4000 to fly to Angola and back? Do you know how much weed I could buy for $4000? I could sit my ass in the park all day and smoke myself to death! Damn! –1 Train