Archive for the ‘West Village’ Category

I've Parlayed It Into a Lucrative Modeling Career

Customer: I love your fries, I'm so addicted.
Cashier: Have you tried anything else on our menu?
Customer: Actually, I'm allergic to chickpeas, so, no.
Cashier: Oh, man, that sucks. Our falafel is so good!
Customer: Yeah…
Cashier: Well, hey, at least you're not allergic to wheat.
Customer: Um…actually…
Cashier: Damn! How do you live like that?

–Taim , West Village

WOLing Me Softly

Grandma to kid: It’s really hard to kill people, you know.

–West Village

(20-something sits down and stretches his arms out in a yawn)
Man sitting one seat away: If you touch my leg I’ll kill you.

–1 Train

Middle-aged beefcake on phone: Oh yeah? Well he’s not trying anymore because he’s dead.

–42nd & Lex

Overheard by: bildita

Suit on cell: He was a great guy, until he decided to kill someone.

–Smith & Wollensky

Loud woman on payphone (very angrily): Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with her? Mausoleum? What? What the fuck?

–96th & Madison

Overheard by: grateful undead

Seven-year-old black boy: I’m goin’ to Iraq, to kill Obama!

–125th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: The Drummey

Wednesday One-Liners Are Working on a Perfume Line

Flustered suit pacing along street: Just letting you know I got a FedEx from Bruce Willis, I guess he finally decided to pay his bills.

–84th St

Overheard by: mikaela

Man to dinner companion: So did you know Mia Farrow is doing a hunger strike? Because of what's happening in Darfur? I hope she dies.

–Red Bamboo, West Village

Transvestite: Damn, that girl looks like Brooke Shields. Damn, that white girl in the blue shoes looks like Brooke Shields.

–4 Train

Man giving out Metro newspaper: Metro! Metro! Whoooeee, baby, you looking like Jennifer Lopez! Metro!

–7 Train

Suit on cell: If he does it again I am going to get all Chuck Woolery on his ass!

–Gold St

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