Archive for the ‘Wheelbos’ Category

Can Civil Engineering Correct This Lack Of Civility? Discuss.

(nurse with elderly lady on wheelchair comes against Asian American pregnant woman with baby in stroller)
Nurse: Oh my, I'm sorry! (pulls back to let woman and child pass)
Asian American pregnant woman: Oh, I'm sorry, I can…
Senile old lady: Get out of the way, chink!
(infant cries)
Asian American pregnant woman: Excuse me?
Nurse: Oh my god! I'm so sorry.
Senile old lady: Don't apologize!
(nurse backs up and lets mother and child through) –Washington Square Village Overheard by: zgoldberg

Wednesday One-Liners Were Extras for the Thriller Video

Dude: I once saw Donald Sutherland get pushed up a flight of stairs by a ghost in a hotel in Toronto. –Sheraton Hotel, 52nd & 7th Overheard by: Matthew Rick Queer: Vampires are sooo ’80s. –7th & 2nd Overheard by: Esther Wheelbo: I don’t like to tell people this… But I’m a monster! –72nd & Amsterdam Bartender: If you touch the leprechaun, there is a fine. –Brooklyn Crazy guy on train: Those scheming connivers — they send Romans and zombies after you. –V train Overheard by: other end of the train Man asking friend in earnest: … But where are you going to get that many werewolves? –12th & 3rd Overheard by: Marty Hipster: All she needs is a vampire to keep her warm. –30th & 3rd Overheard by: buffy fan

Wednesday One-Liners, in a Nutshell.

Man in car at stoplight on cell: Yeah, so I grabbed a towel for my nuts and ran down the stairs. Yes, I covered my nuts. So I run down the stairs covering my nuts with a towel because I knew where the smoke was coming from! –127th & Lenox Street tough to guy in wheelchair: So you kicked him in the nuts? (shrugs) Yeah, word. –E 2nd St & Ave C Overheard by: Ben Couch Crazy man: Where's Howie? Where's my favorite nut-nut? –Hanson Place Overheard by: JBeck Dude on cell while riding bicycle: It's hanging off your nuts? –Williamsburg Mom 20-something daughter heading to Penn Station: Should we grab our nuts, at least? –7th Ave & 34th St Overheard by: Just don't grab my nuts

Wednesday One-Liners Are Older, but No Wiser

Crotchety old Jewish lady, passing Palm Sunday parade: Easter is for amateurs. –W 72nd St & Broadway Overheard by: Naomi Choy Smith Little old lady looking down steep basement stairway: Wow…I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs! –Broome & Essex Old guy: I'm going out for a smoke. If you see someone take this jacket, shoot to kill. –Starbucks Old man with beard, hunched over walker, watching couple holding hands: You two been doin' the nasty, ain't ya? –27th & Broadway Old black lady in wheelchair: I mean, what was he gonna do with a dead body? –Bowery Overheard by: Lauren Very old man to another, in thick New York accent: Ya gotta take it…and put it on ya rectum like this. (demonstrates with hand gesture) –53rd St & 10th Ave Elderly gentleman to another: From now on, you will obey me! –Carnegie Hall

Every One-Liner Has Its Wednesday

Well-dressed black girl to well-groomed black standard poodle with owner: Oh, look at your nice hair! You work it girl! –22nd St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Tigertail Middle-age woman to overgroomed poodle, as it takes a dump in the middle of the sidewalk: Ohhhhh! Charlie, that's looking a bit creamy! Yum, yum! (pause as the dog sniffs his mess) No, don't eat it! –14th St & University Place Overheard by: Bee Crazy hobo in wheelchair, to small dog on leash passing by: Meow. Meow! Meow! –Union Square Large black man to his shaggy dog: Just because it's there doesn't mean you can pee on it. That's a nice bike! –9th St & 50th St Overheard by: EmGusk Man trying to control his barking dog: No! No anxiety! Bad dog! No anxiety! –St. Mark's & Ave A Overheard by: french bulldog with narcissism