Archive for the ‘White People’ Category

News­Flash: Crack­head Slain on 2 Train! Film at Eleven.

Crack­head to white girl: I want a lit­tle white girl. Okay, a lit­tle white lily, she so mad, I want a lit­tle white girl, not a black girl, they broke my heart too many times. You think I’m ha­rass­ing you be­cause you’re white and I’m black.
Girl on train: I’m not white, okay? I’m not white, stop look­ing at me. I don’t look re­mote­ly white, or Cau­casian.
Crack­head: I’m not in­to fat girls, so I’ll look some­where else. I’m not in­to fat jokes, just black jokes. You prob­a­bly think I’m in­to white guys, not white girls, just call me gay. Are you try­ing to slip away?
Girl on train: Did he just call me fat?

–Down­town 2 Train

Wait! Is It Go­ing Above 137th Street?

White chick #1: Ex­cuse me, is there an up­town train to 168th at this sta­tion?
White chick #2: Yeah, but the sub­ways aren’t run­ning above 137th, they’ve cut the pow­er lines. Take the M4 up Broad­way.
White chick #1: Okay, but there is an up­town 1 train at this sta­tion, cor­rect?
White chick #2: Yes, but at the mo­ment it’s not work­ing. They kicked us off at 137th and told us to take the bus.
White chick #1: So there is­n’t an up­town train at this sta­tion?
White chick #2: (si­lence, walks away)

–137th & Broad­way

And the An­cient Greeks Owned Slaves!

Boy giv­ing pre­sen­ta­tion: Guys, shut up! Every­body has to be qui­et dur­ing my pre­sen­ta­tion.
Black boy: Man, your peo­ple kept my peo­ple down for hun­dreds of years. I ain’t be­ing qui­et for your pre­sen­ta­tion!
Boy giv­ing pre­sen­ta­tion: I’m not white, dude. I’m fuck­ing Greek.

–Bard High School, Queens

Over­heard by: Sun­ny